I wrote a long post which is very analytical.
My writing consists of moments of anger, some sadness and a desire for hope.
I don't want to post it here due to privacy, so I was wondering if anyone can help me out on PM for now?

I feel terrible, I can’t even study properly.
She seems like hope during those difficult times, and she’s a great reason why it’s hard for me to leave university.
I need help, those feelings are keeping me awake and motionless in front of my notebook...

[hvert]

I hope you are feeling better now.

[eskielover]

I remember the soulful glances she'd have when I'd show vulnerability to her.

Or when I was vulnerable that one time we saw each other at the library. Her open wide eyes, innocently looking at my soul.

Have you ever REALLY talked to this person like one on one IRL?

If not you are reading WAY TO MUCH into the way someone looks at you that doesnt even REALLY know you. No wonder why she got creeped & unfriended you if any of that got back to her. Though I go through & unfriend people I realize I dont really know at times too.

Umm... what did you write at the last line? It's scrambled due to misspelling.
And it's not reading as much as it is feeling.

And of course we got to know irl. I wouldn't have had her phone number had we never met.

[eskielover]

Sorry about that. Typing on my smart phone I hit wrong keys a lot.

One can meet & give phone #'s without really knowing someone that well. Its good to know that you did meet IRL. It still doesnt mean that she ever emotionally connected to you like you seem to think. How much time did you actually spend together getting to know her to base what you think the eye contact meant or what you read into it that wasn't in reality actually there?

If the look connection you ASSUMED was there was REAL, she wouldnt have unfriended you or stayed away from you like she has chosen to do.

Crushes are always difficult because any time we think more of someone than they think of us it doesnt feel good. Best to try to keep emotions lined up with reality

I don't think my condition is good if I can't make up a solid reply for an hour.
I've been depressed with suicidal thoughts about life. She's one contributor, and I REALLY wish we could re-work our current state, or at least end it peacefully and gracefully.

[eskielover]

She's one contributor, and I REALLY wish we could re-work our current state, or at least end it peacefully and gracefully

does she even know of feel that there is a current state to re-work or even end?

Usually with crushes the other person has absolutely no idea how that person with the crush is feeling. Sometimes they may SENSE an uneasy feel around that person because of awkward behavior the crush creates when around the person they have a crush on. Just curious about the REALITY of the situation which obviously you might not even fully grasp in yoyr own understanding

What do you mean by reality?
Objectively, we are both students, each with his own goal of studying for the degree. But my future is not at that university. As for her, she is also partially that way. She had a better feeling for a different university just like I did. We reached a mutual conclusion that we are both intuitive. That two-hour long conversation was not all for nothing after all

[eskielover]

You based the way you feel about her on a 2 hour conversation? How did she come away from that conversation feeling about you? Or do you even know what her feelings are or are you just placing what you IMAGINE or wish or hope she is feeling onto her when in REALITY that is NOT how she feels or has ever felt about you.

Just because you reached a mutual conclusion that you are both intuitive doesnt mean she has ant interest in you as anything more than someone to talk to & discuss things with when you do talk.

What has she EVER said or done to make you think she has any interest in you in the way you have interest in her?

Being IN REALITY is KNOWING how she really feels, not how you THINK she feels & basing your reactions & feelings accordingly.

With msturity I hope you will learn to not read things into situations that dont exist excrpt in your own thoughts. That is what REALITY is all about.

Guys I need help on this, someone to detail-vent to.
It’s hurting me from the inside, I really want to at least end our relationship gracefully so I can peacefully sleep at night and do the things I do.
My heart is wounded. Moving on will only make me feel worse, because I really want to resolve those kind of conflicts.
My feelings and wills are also part of reality

[BreakForTheLight]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

Guys I need help on this, someone to detail-vent to.
It’s hurting me from the inside, I really want to at least end our relationship gracefully so I can peacefully sleep at night and do the things I do.
My heart is wounded. Moving on will only make me feel worse, because I really want to resolve those kind of conflicts.
My feelings and wills are also part of reality

I understand that but just because YOU want it, that doesn't mean it will happen. Sometimes the only option you have is to move on. Which may seem like an impossible option now but why would it make you feel worse?

I want the sun to rise earlier and set later. Those feelings are real. But they're not going to change anything.

Except we are actually connected and influence each other.
Why would I want to leave her with a bad taste regarding me when I want her to see the sweet side in all this?

I will edit to say that those kind of statements are insulting, because they make me hold it all inside while others continue to project without anyone stopping them. Where’s the sun metaphor here, where clearly narcissists for instance greatly influence the many “suns”?