how to handle a certain situation...

just seeking some feedback on a situation...

let's say you and your spouse are pregnant and you have a c-section planned for the Thursday before the baby's due date. and that 'Thursday date' is the one you've been telling your family and others that that is when the baby is/will be coming.

no matter the timing, if you & your spouse (for whatever reasons) changed the c-section date and move it three days earlier to that week Monday, wouldn't you tell your family members about that???

and if so, who is "important" enough that you would share that info/date change with?? just the parents (soon to be grandparents), siblings on both sides, only immediate family, extended family like aunts/uncles/cousins, with friends, put on social media for others to see, or no one???

what's your decision or choice and why...

I suspect I'd tell the pertinent family members about it at least. It's a surgical procedure and the birth of a child, I guess I would want them to know what's happening...but I think I would limit it to immediate family, like parents and siblings, MAYBE grandparents.

I wouldn't tell everyone because I like my privacy, but close family members, yes, because, well, they're family.

Seesaw

I was just wondering what people's thoughts were.

cuz I'm the sister in that situation! it was MY sister who didn't tell me the date was changed - in fact, no one told me, not my parents or my other sister (both of whom were at the hospital that day)! so I felt like a complete dumbass when she called to tell me the news and I said, 'oh I guess he came early'!

I was just trying to figure out if others do this or if I'm the lucky one who's family pulls s**t like this on them!

I would think close family would be told. Why you were left out & your other sister told indicates there is probably some serious dysfunction going on in your family

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That is almost hurtful that she didn't inform you. I would feel slighted too. I would think that all closest family members would be told. All those that are anticipating the birth and involved. ((((Hugs)))) maybe she was too involved in the details or with her own concerns about the c section. People can get too involved with their own selves sometimes to be thinking about others and how their actions may impact another.

I think the only way it would make sense to me is if the change was unexpected due to complications. Otherwise, it seems rude on their part to not have you on the call list that many new parents keep with them. She didn't wait until she got home from the hospital, did she?

I would tell immediate family and close friends because I would be thrilled. I would not post on social media about an impending C-section because that's very personal. I'm sorry you were not called but just because I would told my sister and she didn't I'd say try not to judge her too harshly. After some time passes, I would sit down and ask her why she didn't tell you. Could it be that you might have made her nervous about it?

That is very hurtful.
To answer your question: i dont know because i never had children so i never had to deal with that discomfort and hormonal hell.
Frankly, there is a huge chance that i would be overwhelmed and possibly drowning in hormones, so I probably would have forgotten about letting people know. Besides, hormones can temporarily alter someone’s behavior, so.....
May be what happened was unintentional. There may have been some sort of a drama that made them forget about notifying closed ones.
Honestly, yes, if I were you, I would be very hurt but... it may not be the right time to bring it up.

I know my family's not perfect, never expected that. and I'm sure most if not all families have some level of dysfunction, so whatever. I just figured no matter what, a big event like this, something a person is happy & excited about, they'd want to share it. maybe I'm wrong, who knows...

as it turns out, based on the 'times' of things, I was called 3 hours after the birth and less then 3 hours later, it was on social media!!! if it hadn't been for my younger sister being there in the afternoon and snapping a 'new family' photo and texting it to me, I wouldn't have even seen any pics. UNLESS I go looking for them -> and my sister and my parents know I don't go on facebook (so how would I know there are photos there, is my point).
in fact just now, I haven't been sent any photos of the new baby since those first two in that text, and he's like 16 days old now. (probably are on social media though)

did I make her nervous? no clue. I doubt it since we rarely talk. my family's weird like that. I just figured I was the black sheep in the family cuz of my MIs.

and yes, I'm pissed! I mean, come on - for crying out loud. I just wanted to get reactions from others cuz I wasn't sure how pissed I should actually be.

and maybe part of that is this: I think it would've been cool (neat opportunity) to be there for the birth. I understand with natural births that you really can't make plans cuz it comes when it wants to! and when my two nephews were born, I was seven hours away - living in another state. so I wasn't there until way later. and with my niece, outside circumstances prevented me from going down 'right afterwards'. but this time, knowing you're having a C-section on a planned date ahead of time, you could literally invite anyone you wanted to - to be there and share in the moment with you!
and I'm not the type to 'invite myself'. if I'm not told by that person, then I don't go cuz I wasn't invited. and to me, usually a person doesn't tell you about something (like being somewhere for the weekend or a outing or ballgame) cuz they don't want you to, whatever their reasons may be! and the odds are I will never have kids of my own, so something like this would be my only way to have or share in that type of experience.

but whatever... thanks to everyone for your comments. if you want, keep 'em comin'

Did you ever ask the reason for the change of date? I would ask that not "why wasn't I told" when my ex had labor induced we were very hesitant about telling anybody it was a high risk pregnancy and after a few heart breaks in the past it seemed like the best way to deal with the situation.