[simplyjosh36]

It’s been a few months now since I got into a relationship with this woman from Colombia. We met each other through an international dating site online called LoveMe. Her last relationship ended about a year ago and since then, she’s kept a strong friendship with her ex-lover.

I trust that there is no monkey business going on between them and that I shouldn’t worry about having a third party involved but it’s hard not to be bothered by it. The thing is that before she got into a relationship with her ex, they were best friends. When they broke up, they wanted to save their years of friendship together.

That is why they casually keep in touch and often times hang out. Now, I’m not much of a believer in ex-lovers staying as friends after breaking up, but I don’t want to stir something with my girlfriend about the matter. It’s hard to look past it whenever my girlfriend spends the day with him or grabbed a cup of coffee. Be it for only a minute, it’s really difficult for me the more this goes on.

I don’t want to be selfish and as much as possible I want to keep a calm composure regarding the issue, how do I deal with this in a mature and passive way? Is there even a method to be okay with this? I don’t want to fight with my girlfriend about this. Don’t get me wrong, I trust and love her with all my heart but I really want to get this off my chest.

Any amount of advice and tips would be tremendously helpful. Do you guys know some ways on how I can at least rest easy with the thought that she’s friends with her ex-lover/ best friend? Thanks so much in advance for any insights. I’m also very open in listening to past experiences and personal opinions.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Josh: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know as there is a lot I can offer with regard to your concerns. However, here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of some interest:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...ex-girlfriend/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...with-jealousy/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...relationships/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!