[katie.marie.]

I was with this really weird guy for 3 years, he is a psychopath, he is stalking me and my current boufriend, I know for a fact he does drugs and he has a lot of mental issues (which are too disturbing to talk about) but my mom says unless I have proof a restraining order won't hold up, I've changed my phone number, moved out of my parents house, but somehow he still seems to mess with me or my boyfriend, he even gets old friends of mine to try and mess with me so he can show my current boyfriend that I'm "unfaithful" (which I am not). I just need some adivce on what to do, I'm scared to go to school because he knows I go here I refuse to look at anyone in public in case he's there. I'm constantly scared and he is the type of person who will get people to stalk me if he can't himself. What should I do?

[MickeyCheeky]

Call the police immediately!

[-jimi-]

Stalking and harassing IS indeed grounds for a restraining order. Your mom is wrong. And even if they would not install the restraining order they will not tell your stalker you tried to get one, he will only know if it happens. So there is nothing to lose trying. It is good the cops have their eyes on this guy as early as possible. It can help other victims along the line, and it can help you in case he gets worse.

[*Laurie*]

It's a good idea to file a report with the police. That said, they won't do anything to help unless the guy physically attacks you. And unless minor children are involved, restraining orders are worthless.

Unfortunately, I've been in the situation and found out the hard way that law enforcement is useless when it comes to someone stalking or harassing you.

I feel for you, because the situation you're in is a very frightening one. Above all else, DO NOT accept ANY contact with the person or his friends.

[Artchic528]

I agree with what's been said. I'd call the police and file a restraining order.

[Urban_Legend]

call the police and lay a formal complaint...then tell them you going to get you a gun for self defence...........

[fishin fool]

You have to go to police before this goes any further

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

Stalking and harassing IS indeed grounds for a restraining order. Your mom is wrong. And even if they would not install the restraining order they will not tell your stalker you tried to get one, he will only know if it happens. So there is nothing to lose trying. It is good the cops have their eyes on this guy as early as possible. It can help other victims along the line, and it can help you in case he gets worse.

Thank you, see like I was so stressed since I didnt have proof so I thought I just had to suck it up.

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

It's a good idea to file a report with the police. That said, they won't do anything to help unless the guy physically attacks you. And unless minor children are involved, restraining orders are worthless.

Unfortunately, I've been in the situation and found out the hard way that law enforcement is useless when it comes to someone stalking or harassing you.

I feel for you, because the situation you're in is a very frightening one. Above all else, DO NOT accept ANY contact with the person or his friends.

I've blocked and removed anything and anyone who has anything to do with that man. I just always seem to get stuck with the back lash of his BS and I can't ever catch him in the act.

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by Urban_Legend

call the police and lay a formal complaint...then tell them you going to get you a gun for self defence...........

Living in Canada, theres a HUGE long process about getting a gun but I'm definitely thinking about it

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by katie.marie.

Living in Canada, theres a HUGE long process about getting a gun but I'm definitely thinking about it

Isn't getting a gun a little extreme?

[winter loneliness]

Don't use your real profile picture or name online?

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Isn't getting a gun a little extreme?

Then please, feel free to come and deal with him for me!

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

Don't use your real profile picture or name online?

So I should be scared and hide for the rest of my life?

[Princesa7]

Can you buy an inexpensive surveillance camera or even buy one of those cheaper but excellent Chinese versions of a GoPro? We use one to record the wild birds visiting our garden. They work using a micro-SD card, thus saving in High Definition images of our garden birds. These devices can be affixed to clothing.

Is the stalker making phone calls? There are ways of blocking nuisance callers. Is he tracking you online? If I may say, @katie.marie. it may not be helpful to you for having your face for your avatar. Just saying.

Have you a neighbour you can trust to share this problem with? Have you friends and relatives to watch out for you? I cannot endorse your getting a firearm, though I live in the UK where such is a criminal offence. Anyway, I don't like bangy things.

If you belong to a social group in your town/city, then make it known you have a stalker. Your group friends could help your confidence, too. If you don't belong to a social group, I feel now is the time when you and your friend start looking.

There are popular social media websites in Canada because I've just looked. Surely, the more friends you make through social networking, when after a while you feel they are trustworthy enabling you to open up, again this must be a + towards dealing with your stalker.

All the best,
Julie

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by katie.marie.

So I should be scared and hide for the rest of my life?

I don't think that's what winter loneliness said. She merely said to be careful about what you divulge on the web. I don't post my social media on here for safety reasons. I've already had another member stalk me, and surely would have stalked me all the way to my facebook page if I had posted it on here.

It's about being smart and safe, not about being paranoid and scared.

[winter loneliness]

I think you should use a different photo. JMHO

[eskielover]

The thing also with a gun is that it is useless against a stalker. They usually dont have any physical contact & a gun is only legally helpful if someone is physically attacking you & it is self defense. Even then there can be serious issues involved because there has to be proof that they attacked you. On your own property, the person has to have broken into your house before leagally safe to shoot them without being accused of a crime yourself.

I am pro-gun ownership living alone in the country but also know in the US, the training & learning about what is legal or not when it comes to getting a concealed carry license is required & important. Most people including women here go through that training as it is really the only way of carrying a gun with you....otherwise its only something you can use at home for home protection.

Really not a solution against a stalker whose real goal is to annoy & keep the person living in fear they are being watched & never really knowing what the person will do but that doesnt give anyone the right to shoot simeone unless their life is actually threatened by a deadly weapon in the first place.

The restraining order is probably the best option right now. In the US, Stalking can become a felony if a restraining order is violated....dont know about canada. Besides, talking to the police about your situation, they could give you some guidance on handling this situation.

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

I think you should use a different photo. JMHO

I apologize for coming across kind of *****y this entire situation had stressed me out big time. I'm sorry again. You did have a very good point

[katie.marie.]

Originally Posted by eskielover

The thing also with a gun is that it is useless against a stalker. They usually dont have any physical contact & a gun is only legally helpful if someone is physically attacking you & it is self defense. Even then there can be serious issues involved because there has to be proof that they attacked you. On your own property, the person has to have broken into your house before leagally safe to shoot them without being accused of a crime yourself.

I am pro-gun ownership living alone in the country but also know in the US, the training & learning about what is legal or not when it comes to getting a concealed carry license is required & important. Most people including women here go through that training as it is really the only way of carrying a gun with you....otherwise its only something you can use at home for home protection.

Really not a solution against a stalker whose real goal is to annoy & keep the person living in fear they are being watched & never really knowing what the person will do but that doesnt give anyone the right to shoot simeone unless their life is actually threatened by a deadly weapon in the first place.

The restraining order is probably the best option right now. In the US, Stalking can become a felony if a restraining order is violated....dont know about canada. Besides, talking to the police about your situation, they could give you some guidance on handling this situation.

I'm not in the states and the rules and regulations are very strict here in Canada about owning a gun, I probably never will but it was a good suggestion all in all