[Betrayed92]

I have been married to my husband for four years and I recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me for most of are marriage and I confronted him about his cheating and we had a big fight about it and I told him that I wanted a divorce. So after I said that he left to go live with his other woman and now I'm wondering if I did the right thing and I'm wondering If I should try to work things with my husband for the sake of are two year daughter.

[eskielover]

If he left to go to the other woman he has NO INTEREST in working it out. He's been doing this most of the 4 years of yoyr marriage he has NO DESIRE to change & was probably hoping not to get caught.

Your daughter will be better off not living around a situation where adultary is the norm....dlnt want tp teach her that its ok & from his reaction, it would never be any different.

Dear... why would you want to try to work things out with a man who went to live with his lover? He has abandoned the marriage, he has been cheating the whole time. This man is not worthy. I'm so sorry this happened, I know it must be very painful to accept, but I think you're going to need to let him go and go through with the divorce. (((((Hugs))))))

[PinkyDoo]

I have to agree with what others have said. He has not prioritized you, and he has not thought about the effect of his actions on you or his daughter. To stay in a relationship like that is toxic. It's painful. Something like this can take it's toll. I'd be afraid that it will make you emotionally unavailable to your daughter, to be the best mom you can be. Depression is a life sucker that does not only effect you. You deserve better.

I have to say, I'm sure it would be easier to do now, four years in, then later. Things only get harder and more complicated as time goes by.

[Betrayed92]

I want thank everyone who replied to my OP I think that I'm going take the advice I've been given and just let him go and I'm going to move on with my life and raise my daughter alone. Also I apologize if my grammar and spelling is wrong English isn't my first langue and I'm still a little shaky with it.

[healingme4me]

I believe you did the right thing in clearly expressing that divorce is the consequence for cheating.
Then he walks out on family life with you and your daughter. He was walking out through cheating, but wow, as painful as things are for you, such icing on the cake by him doing that. That has got to be the most immature thing I've read in a long while of a father behaving. Not even a walk outside to cool off. Of course you have a heated argument. Who wouldn't?
He betrayed not only you, but your daughter.
I do believe in exceptions to "the rules" where two parent homes are concerned in raising children. A toxic marriage such as what you wound up in, will consume all of your energy away from this crucial time in yours and your daughter's life.

[Crazy Hitch]

You deserve so much better than him, you really do

[MickeyCheeky]

I think he has already made his decision..

[All Is Revealed]

Please try not to work things out with him. You're the one who will end up hurt when he reveals he has no intention of changing his cheating ways.

[Rose76]

You have a lot of pain to deal with. I'm sorry. Prolonging this marriage would be prolonging the pain. It really does sound like his only idea of working things out would be for you to simply tolerate him cheating whenever he wants. Could you live that way . . . for the sake of your daughter? He got mad and was in a big fight with you!! Was he trying to say that you drove him to other women? I'm trying to imagine what his end of the argument consisted of.

I have known of marriages where the couple got past infidelity and it worked out. I think that takes special circumstances and unusual people who have a deep commitment to each other. Since your husband immediately moved in with the other woman, I doubt he has much commitment to you or to his daughter.

The best thing you can do for your daughter is to role model for her how a woman respects herself and requires respect from others. Sometimes couples should stay together for the sake of the kids, IMO - - - but was this ever a marriage? Would you ever really trust him again? Does he even care if you do?

I suggest you see a lawyer, quietly, without telling your husband. Get advice on what you need to do to protect your interests and your daughter's. BTW, I wish I could communicate in a second language as well as you do in English.

[sky457]

I’m sorry you have experienced this....I can’t imagine how hurtful this has been for you. I hope you can heal, and I hope the best for you.

[Misssy2]

No sadly you should not try working this out.

Who would it work for? Him....cause then he would know he can get away with this type of behavior.

And you? You would be stuck in a limbo state of always wondering IF the cheating was occurring again...

I said to one of my boyfriends...In order for our relationship to continue..there needs to be an END.

Too much has happened in your relationship ...it seems you consider your relationship a "marriage" and he does not...paper means nothing...actions tell ALL.

In my opinion you will not get past this hurt and deciet without a break...I'm in a situation now that rips my heart out being away from the guy...but I know that I need not to be with him...to heal...if I am ever to be with him again.

You can't just jump back into the frying pan...EVEN if it hurts you to be away from him..it is the BEST thing for you.

[04mxyz250f]

So Ive been in a similar situation lately. However, My wife and I were happily married for 6 years and then it happened/ There is a lot of other stuff around it though and now after her leaving for 2 months she wants to comes back and has major regret. We have two young children. I'm still not sure how its going to work out for us, but I'm partly feeling like I have to try for the kids and also all the other stuff around it...

But in your situation you said he has been cheating almost the whole marriage. I agree with the others that you should let him go and move on and find someone that will treat you right in the future. It doesn't sound like he was ever in the marriage to begin with if its been going on the whole time.

I hope it all works out for you. Friends and Family are very important right now. I know mine have been.