[matheusgrossi]

Hi, I'm new here so please forgive my possible mistakes, I wanted to know if you guys couldn't maintain friendships, I'm very respectful with the diferences, I can talk about a lot of different subjects, I try to be a real friend you know? To be there in bad and in good moments, but it looks like I'm nobody's priority, people forget about me very easily, and that makes me sad... Have you guys experienced something like this?

[bunnyhabit]

yes i get bored easily so change frequently who i hang out with and hook up with. i makes friends easy so never easily forgotten by ex friends and lovers

I have the same problem and sometimes I end up feeling used. I am codependent and I do put others ahead of myself. I am there for them and then "poof" they are gone.

[matheusgrossi]

It's weird right? Because I try so hard you know? I don't know why people get tired of me...

[Entity06]

Yes it's hard for me to make friends, take it up a notch from acquaintance to someone I hang out with at least from time to time. Then I have trouble maintaining it for a longer period of time. I suspect that's partly cause I always expect people are bored of me so I never insist and partly because I'm a 30 yro who lacks the human experiences most people have by this age(never had a relationship or even been on a date, my anxiety about being rejected or insufficient at work keeps me from looking for jobs properly, only had 3-4 friends in my entire life) and that creates a subtle gap at this point even without the other knowing the situation I'm in, I just can't relate when it comes to some stuff and can't draw from the experiences people draw from at this point in their interactions with others. Loneliness tends to be a vicious circle, just like poverty for ex, because it kinda keeps you from acquiring certain skills and "instruments" that are helpful in bonding with people.

Hi - I'm new too and my first response. I don't make friends that easy. I have a few long term ones but sometimes don't want the commitment of more, although wonder why I don't have as many as other people (it's harder as get older). I’ve occasionally felt with 1 friend who I had not seen for 4 years that she prefers another friend because I saw on Facebook photos of them on nights out and on holiday. I’m 52 and am not a needy person at all with anyone and was surprised at myself for feeling annoyed about this. This is because last time we arranged to meet, I had to phone her as she didn’t show up at my house and she said she’d forgotten. She arranged again and then last minute cancelled due to hospital appointment. I then felt it was up to her to arrange this time but she never did but would say in her Christmas cards ‘we must meet up’. I would email with dates and she would be enthusiastic and it would end up with us not finalising anything. We finally met up recently and had a great catch up and she told me she had been diagnosed with Bipolar and had failed a test for early dementia so then realised she had been dealing with her own issues. I never mentioned her other friend because I would hate for her to feel she had done something wrong (she hadn’t). I’m glad my feelings didn’t get in the way of our friendship.

I meet my closest friend who I have known for 15 years only around 4 times a year and there have been times when not at all in a year but one of us will email and suggest a catch up.

Do you think it’s because you don’t see friends as much as you would want, either due to them cancelling meet ups or just not bothering getting in touch with you first? I am wondering why you feel that you are not priority? Also is it possible that your beliefs that people forget about you when they haven’t been in contact for a while make you seem needy to them or do you not show your feelings to them?

[DP_2017]

Yep this is me

Only since I've been in therapy have I realized how one sided my friendships have been and why they never made me really hAPPY

it's not fun

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, I have your same struggles..

[stahrgeyzer]

Same here. For me I think the problem is because I'm so different to the point where it's unhealthy for two people to be friends being so different. I try to be there for them but if they're not feeling the friendship they'll be distant and not be there for me.

I am going to suggest that you take a hard look at the relationships. Are they friendships to begin with or merely acquaintanceships? Friends tend to stick around the latter come and go. I myself strike up relationships easily but turning them into true friendships I find very hard. Trust is the primary reason.

Look at these relationships and consider your motivation for having them. What are you getting in return for the energy, emotional, and time investments you put into them?

[frustlandlady]

This is the case for me too, but s o m e t i m e s. I have few friends, but apart from them other people seem to like me, but they don't want much more than a chat at work or something. They don't invite me over or something. It seems that most people are "closed" in their "safe little world" and are content in that, that they don't want anything more. As getting older, it gets harder and harder to make new friends.