[Inaccurate]

The story is quite interesting imo, at least I hope so..

About me: I live in a small W European country and I'm a gamer. I'm a bit weird, barely connect to people, all of my "friends" are useful to me and I keep them only for that single purpose: to use. I know laywers, bankers, cops etc. I dont understand what its like to have "friends" in the traditional meaning. My love life is poor, I can easily impress a desirable girl but then after using her I discard her as I lose interest.

The catfish story, I was fooled badly.. a taste of my medicine perhaps?

In 2013 in a game I encounter a girl who has an interesting nick, she saw my clan tag and expressed interest in me. So I add her to steam and we begin chatting. The chemistry was instantaneous, as maybe for the first time in my life I encountered someone who was totally on my frequency. We didn't discuss people or events, no we discussed philosophical stuff, ideas, movies, quotes etc. It was perfect... She appeared to be VERY sweet and interesting, it was incomprehensible. Our life stories were also interestingly identical, to the point of tiny details.

After a week she suddenly said: "I have a serious psychological illness, several shrinks and I take meds, I have big carnal needs and have nobody I trust enough to satisfy them, if you come to my house please be gentle, and confident as I hate uncertainty in men". I thought "oh she is mentally ill, I cant do it to her, because the chemistry is too strong here on steam, and I avoid mentally ill people" so I deleted her. Deleting her made me very upset for a week but then I got over it.

In 2014 nearly the same thing happened between us, I encountered her in another game, blah blah, chemistry, an invitation to come and I deleted her again. This time I ended up being upset for a month or so but then I got over it.

April 2016: I encounter her again in a game and this time I couldnt walk away.. The events went as following:

May-June-July = the discovery phase, she appeared to be extremely intelligent, like a bright light compared to ANYONE I have ever talked to, our chemistry was insane. The only bad thing about her, really bad, is that she said she was a nympho and had many lovers, 7 regular FWBs and many one night stands. She kept inviting me to have sex with her but I'm not really into a huge gangbang kind of thing.. or wasnt back then :P

August - September - October = the fight phase, I slowly accept her poly sexuality, while we continue to chat daily, for hours. Our connection continues to be VERY deep.

November - December - January - March = the growth phase, I was finally ready to meet her, our connection was flawless, the chats were a piece of art. I kept asking to see her but she kept saying "not yet"..

During all this time she kept showering me with pictures, she appeared to be good looking but it was her IQ and her speech which kept me insanely attracted to her.

There were many HUGE red flags during this period: her pics were relatively small, she refused to "talk" or to provide any personal information, her version was: Im a victim of abuse who suffers from selective mutism and severe paranoia.

At the same time she kept telling me how she has sex all the time and how other men get her. It was extremely humiliating of course.

The reality hit me right in the face last week: I finally tried googles image search instead of tineye and found that "her" pics belong to a girl in a far away country. So when I confronted her with this she quickly disappeared from my steam.. while begging me not to reveal this to anyone. She confessed shes in fact a man and isnt the person on the pictures.

The question is.. should I take revenge or accept things the way they are.. and blame myself?

She has been running "the show" for at least 15 years, playing 100s of men during that period. Im the first one who figured out the deceit.

Oh yes: after discovering the lie he told me that hes a very sad person who finds pleasure in only one activity: catfishing nerds and loners from the internet.. and could suicide if I expose him.

Pro's of my 15 month long pursuit of her:

I have discovered myself like never before
he improved me in every aspect, my intelligence has skyrocketed like never before thx to his insights.
i found out that Im capable of relaying to someone
Contras:

it was a very exhausting pursuit, the "girl" was much more absorbed with herself than with me. She barely asked me any questions at all.
after 15 months Im a wreck in every aspect. She kept shoving in my face how she fks around but doesnt trust "me" enough to do the same = clear bullying
she kept accepting my gifts such as games etc.
Im kinda broken psychologically after this. A part of me wants to expose her to the entire community and beyond. There are other loners who she has been leading on for many years, some for 10+ years. Another part of me thinks that I should forget it and embrace my new self.

[Erebos]

Honestly, it sounds like you two had a lot in common.
Not all relationships and friendships start conventionally,
My relationship certainly had I seriously unconventional start.
Anyway-it sounds like you got more from this guy than you lost, shrug it off and move on.

[Crazy Hitch]

Time to move on and just forget it. Nothing to gain from exposing her. Boy, karma sure bit you in the bum with this one!

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you had this experience. I think you gained more than you lost and should just move on. Has this changed your perspective in how you treat people? Best wishes.

[TishaBuv]

What were his motives for catfishing? Were you giving him gifts of value? Would your reason to expose him to other games to give them a heads up for not getting ripped off? Could he find you and hurt you physically?

It sounds like you feel bad about getting tricked, but whatever he took you for (games?) is something you are ok with losing.

Just consider it part of the online game fantasy.

There was a poster on here around a year ago, also from UK, talking about an online relationship with a person who sounds a lot like this one. Could it possibly be the same catfish?

[Altarian]

It sucks that it was a catfish situation. should you walk away, probably. should you expose him for what he is, debatable. See the best and worst thing about the internet is you can be anyone you want to be and most people would never know. Could you ever get past this and be friends on a intellectual level. that i can't answer for you because i personally couldn't when someone tried to catfish me and i found them out. Keep us informed on what you decide.

[Inaccurate]

The thing with this catfish is that he had zero empathy towards me. Literally zero. He kept leading me on in endless cycles. A typical cycle was something like:

- week 1: the growth phase. We talk more and more
- week 2: he implies that its all on the table and meeting "her" is entirely possible as her paranoid mind trusts me more
- week 3: she switches from "we will meet soon" to being indifferent, barely responsive.
- week 4: I become frustrated as the result, at this point he will start cucking me by saying that *she* isnt around as much coz she is having too much sex. Resulting in me becoming even more upset and her laughing at me.

Then week 1 follows again. The growth phase. We have had many of such cycles. The catfish has no morals and is a bully. He never expected me to find out the truth.

I know of at least one loner who ended up with brain damage as the result of this individual and her deceit. The thing is: the catfish is a very talented person who has perfected his abiloty to seduce and to keep his prey.

I have contacts with the local police and can have him traced + expose him. The catfish knows this and said that if exposed he will commit suicide.

[divine1966]

I hope you didn't send him money.

[Inaccurate]

Interesting.. I have contacted the girl whos pictures the catfish has been stealing and using for 15 years, I explained that someone has stolen her identity and she doesnt care at all. The girl herself is a huge attention ***** who has nearly 5000 instagram posts and makes 1-2 pics of herself a day.. could she be related to the catfish? Maybe they do it together for fun or so? The catfish lives in Belgium while the girl whos pictures he ys using lives in Finland.

[Inaccurate]

I exposed the catfish. He has been offline for 9 days now and the last thing a friend heard from him was that he was suicidal and in a very poor state of mind.. theres a chance that he died.. :/

[TishaBuv]

Email the MTV show "Catfish", Nev and Max. I bet they'll do an episode with you and go visit your catfish to find out why. My gut feeling is they will not do themselves any harm and are just being dramatic to guilt you.

[Inaccurate]

The person was being active for 13-14 years. Seduced many 100s of men, deceived them all and showed to all or nearly all of them a picture of (his?) penis.

https://davidvangros.livejournal.com/291.html