[Aviza]

I have, I'm trying hard to listen, but I'm fighting a huge urge to pack up and just move in with him. Of course I'd say I was coming first, but I really love him. Though logic 100% knows to stay away. My heart hurts. I hate this. But he really wants total control of me i think, and hates that my mom has any. His hatred of her after she was so nice to him initially is crazy and a turn off.

But i don't think of all the negatives when I'm missing him. I just think of the parts I miss. Our dinners out how nice it was to be together. Cooking at his place and hanging out on the couch. Getting to hold the baby lamb, feeding the cows (I used to be afraid of cows). Because they would always follow me and stare at me, it was creepy. Now I'm not. I

I don't know, life sucks that you have to get attached to people who don't stick around. It's my karma, my daughter's dad still loves me I know he does but doesn't want to be with me. I initiated that divorce he would have stuck by me. I screwed up because I wasn't in love and tired of dealing with the struggles. Now a guy who loves me won't even push through some difficulties. Life sucks. Can't kill myself forced to live and wait for the grim reaper to arrive one day.

[SorryShaped]

Sorry to give you homework here, but this is a small writing exercise.
You are the only one that should control you.
Moving yourself to change controllers? That seems like bad choice to bad choice to me. Do you truly love the following people?
1. Your mom. Why?
2. Him. Why?
3. Yourself. Why?
If your answer to any of them involves "have to" or "control" then you've not discussed this with your true self. Go below the surface. How would each be in on one year, five years, or twenty?
You are always the most important person in your life, because everyone else will not always be in it.