[irislily]

I don't know how to best help my son. He is an adult, and presently living in his car in Canada. He calls but it is a negative one sided conversation. He hates his life, his family and is quite self righteous and self absorbed. But he knows he has issues, though he refuses to seek any help, as on the other hand, he feels he knows everything and has done or tried everything-which isn't the case. He says very hurtful unfiltered things which are difficult to take. I do send money on occasion for his phone or food, but not very often. I don't know what to do. Am I enabling, or being there for someone who has no one else?

[Gasplessy]

(Sorry for any mistake, i'm not a native speaker)

Hello. I'm sorry for the situation
I can relate a bit, since I also refused to stay in contact with my family in the past years (i was very introverted and suffered from anxiety and low self esteem) and I'm totally regretting it

I think it's a delicate situation.
It seems your son is disappointed with his life and angry, so how could you talk with him?

If you think that in general he's capable of affection (and "just" facing a really difficult time), maybe you can send them message and write him that you care about him and that he can count on your help. Sometimes people are nervous and get easily angry durings calls

Do you have anyone to talk with about this problem? And does your son have any close person (a girlfriend, a friend...)?

Big hug

[Iceskater]

Originally Posted by irislily

I don't know how to best help my son. He is an adult, and presently living in his car in Canada. He calls but it is a negative one sided conversation. He hates his life, his family and is quite self righteous and self absorbed. But he knows he has issues, though he refuses to seek any help, as on the other hand, he feels he knows everything and has done or tried everything-which isn't the case. He says very hurtful unfiltered things which are difficult to take. I do send money on occasion for his phone or food, but not very often. I don't know what to do. Am I enabling, or being there for someone who has no one else?

Your son is living in a car in Canada in winter?

So he has a strong desire for independance while at the same time he recognises he has a need for other people and for some reason he cannot come up with a solution where that feels good for him?