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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
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#1
Does anyone else believe that the concept of best friends forever is not exactly true? I can see how some friendships can last many years, perhaps a couple decades, but I am starting to believe that no friendship actually lasts an entire lifetime, as in, until old age and one of them passes away. I feel like the term best friend forever is a bit exaggerated and no one is really friends with someone that long. I think all friendships, no matter how long they last, will eventually come to an end. What do you guys think? Just wondered.
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avlady, katydid777
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mote.of.soul
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 386
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#2
I’ve read that the average duration of a friendship is around 7 years. I don’t know how that number was determined so take it with a grain of salt.
__________________ Dust in the breeze it always comes Blocking out the Sun Up from the Ashes a Phoenix flies https://psychcentralforums.com/creat...er-s-rags.html https://psychcentralforums.com/creat...innocence.html |
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avlady, katydid777
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,749
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#3
Yeah I heard something similar and that if it lasts longer then it will last a lifetime but I still doubt that. Amd even friendships that do last for decades, I don't think it was a continuous friendship. I believe that most of them were actually friendships that probably ended at one point on good terms and then rekindled at a later time.
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avlady, katydid777
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
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#4
I know people who are friends for life. My mom has several. I have a couple. There are long periods of time where there may not be much interaction, but the bond remains.
It takes effort from both people to keep in touch. My best friend from high school and I rarely spoke while we were raising families, now we are best friends again and get together weekly. It’s just like we picked up where we left off. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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avlady, katydid777
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,302
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#5
I am still close friends with my best friend from high school. We have not always lived in the same city, but we talk on the phone every week— and have for 20 years. There have been times when we’ve been closer to other friends, but it hasn’t diminished our friendship. I am also still close friends with a friend from college; we visit each other about once a year and talk over email regularly.
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avlady, katydid777
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rdgrad15
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Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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#6
My grandmother at 87, is still friends with her best friend from childhood.
I'm still in contact despite distance with a woman that I've been friends with since the age of 2. And the same with my friend from college. Can friendships span a lifetime? Yes they can. |
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avlady, katydid777, mote.of.soul
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rdgrad15
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Creek Devil
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
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#7
Yes, the 'bff'. I think it's more a case of people wanting the friendship to last forever than actually knowing that it will. It's like a pact or a commitment.
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avlady, katydid777
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healingme4me, rdgrad15
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Junior Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: Virginia
Posts: 21
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#8
Quote:
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katydid777
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rdgrad15
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Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
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#9
Your lucky if you have a true friend that has stuck through thick and thin with you. there may be times when you don't communicate, but they always return. I found this out because a friend of mine from like when we were 3 kept in touch until now, although there was a break after she had her children and she moved away from here. Now we communicate as we are able through facebook and cars in mail. maybe it will be an eternal relationship and i hope to see us in heaven.
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katydid777
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: georgia
Posts: 2,137
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#10
I have friends that I have known from childhood, but we are no longer best friends, and I know life has done that. But my H has had 4 or 5 best friends that he has had for around 30 years or until 2 of them passed away.
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rdgrad15
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,889
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#11
I've read the seven year thing too. I've noticed for me that friendships tend to falter at three or seven years. I have a couple of long term friends that go back to high school. I haven't felt like I've had a best friend in a long time.
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rdgrad15
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#12
What I've found helps me is to stop being "mushy" with my friends. I've found that the tighter you hold on, the harder they push away. I'm more playful and sarcastic than I used to be. It helps to subtly let people know, "I love you, I care about you" without them feeling smothered. For example, this one person and I flip eachother off every time I see her. It's our language of love ...and it feels a lot more comfortable than running up to her and shouting "I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE BEST AND WE'RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER AND EVER!" Of course it depends on you and your friend's personality. Also not trying to be gender biased, but as a female, I've noticed that a lot of men seem to have these types of relationships with their buddies. And most men seem to have less drama in friendships than women. Again, this is just my observation.
To answer your question, nothing is forever. I've been on a journey over the last few years to accept that fact. Eventually, you're going to lose everyone. Either when one of you dies or you drift apart. All you can do is make the best of what you have, learn from others, and try to make a positive difference in people's lives. |
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rdgrad15
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#13
I am in awe of people who have lifelong friendships, I have seen many so I have no doubt they definitely exist.
For me it didn't happen, but I never did have closer friendships (other than my husband) until relatively recently, I do hope I will keep those for years to come. I guess my husband is my bff after 25 years though. |
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rdgrad15
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Eastern MD
Posts: 1,513
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#14
I've seen people from elementary school have friendships into their 50's.
__________________ Forget the night...come live with us in forests of azure - Jim Morrison |
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
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#15
it's a term for friends that are very close and mean a lot to you, not exactly meant to be taken literally.
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rdgrad15
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: The Other Side
Posts: 579
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#16
I still talk to and exchange Christmas gifts with friends from high school in spite of distance, but we don't really talk about anything too deep. I have one friend in my city with whom I've been friends for almost 20 years. Other than that, no, I don't have any long-term friends. I wish I had some childhood friends, but I moved around too much.
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rdgrad15
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