[lonelynotalone]

I hadn’t realised this was a rule or expectation. If it is, then clearly I’ve been living under a rock; a very comfortably sheltered rock that I will never apologise for living under.

I’m very inexperienced for my age. When I have tried to ask questions about things, or share my opinions on the subjects of intimacy and sex, people seem to find it hard to believe that I’ve not done this or that and so therefore I must be lying or looking for attention.

Being genuine and open to others only seems to get harder as people grow colder, ignorant and judgmental.

I guess if you don't follow some sort of "normal", you'll always be a target.

[blubbbrabbel]

Originally Posted by lonelynotalone

I hadn’t realised this was a rule or expectation. If it is, then clearly I’ve been living under a rock; a very comfortably sheltered rock that I will never apologise for living under.

I’m very inexperienced for my age. When I have tried to ask questions about things, or share my opinions on the subjects of intimacy and sex, people seem to find it hard to believe that I’ve not done this or that and so therefore I must be lying or looking for attention.

Being genuine and open to others only seems to get harder as people grow colder, ignorant and judgmental.

I guess if you don't follow some sort of "normal", you'll always be a target.

There is no such thing as "normal". You will find many people thinking the opposite, who will appreciate if you did not share intimacy with too many people.
I am sure you can find that special someone who will love that they can share with you what you have not been doing with anyone else before and will appreciate that you did stick to your own pace and waited for them!
The important thing is that you stay true to yourself! You can decide!
How important is intimacy to you?

[Crazy Hitch]

"Have to be" = definitely not!

"Certain age" = hell no!

It's each to their own and the stage that they're at in their relationship and how relationships do, or don't progress.

I almost want to ask how old you are out of curiosity

[lonelynotalone]

Originally Posted by blubbbrabbel

There is no such thing as "normal". You will find many people thinking the opposite, who will appreciate if you did not share intimacy with too many people.
I am sure you can find that special someone who will love that they can share with you what you have not been doing with anyone else before and will appreciate that you did stick to your own pace and waited for them!
The important thing is that you stay true to yourself! You can decide!
How important is intimacy to you?

Hence why I used quotation marks, because I don't believe there is a normal.

It's not the matter of me over-sharing. I simply one day asked a question about a hickey, how I could get rid of one because I'd never had one before. I then received responses saying I must be a catfish because there's no possible way a 24 year old could be that inexperienced not to know much about a hickey let alone anything else intimate/sexual.

[lonelynotalone]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

"Have to be" = definitely not!

"Certain age" = hell no!

It's each to their own and the stage that they're at in their relationship and how relationships do, or don't progress.

I almost want to ask how old you are out of curiosity

I'm 24, just to ease your curiosity.

[lunatic soul]

There are people who love that partner has little or no experience at sex because it makes them feel special. I know people who think so.
If person wants partner who has a lot of sexual experience he/she simply wants sex. But there are men who have fatish on virgins. Really.

It doesnt matter how old you are and how many relationships you have had. It really doesnt matter.
What society thinks- you can never be good for everybody and you dont have to.

By no means consider yourself abnormal. It is all about what makes you feel right.

Consider this...

There are many people in this world, myself included, who have engaged in sexual acts only for reasons of needing to feel loved. So too there are those who have done so because they have felt some sense of obligation.

The fact that you have not fallen into either of these traps is a strong indicator of the fact you place value on yourself. Please continue to do so. One day you will welcome the opportunity when the right person and situation arises.

[Talthybius]

People have all kinds of expectations. But your title kind of acts like there is some universal rule that most agrees on and a lot of people try tries to follow.

That said, I do get the suspicion that a majority of females (which may be a small majority! nitpickers and poor readers beware!) prefer to have a male that is more experienced, whether they admit this to themselves, let alone others.

Males might have even stronger preferences, which are sometimes contradictory.

I think many people have some preference here, male or female. They all have some idea about what the sexual past of their dream partner would be. So yes, I would say it matters, to other people. But it shouldn't matter to you or influence your motivation in any way. You are who you are and people will (sometimes viciously) judge you for it, but there is just no way around it.

[amandalouise]

actually yes there are some cultures, locations and religions that do have a rule around this. some even require a third party witness the event, some even prepare very young children for their "rite of passage" from childhood to adulthood rule through circumcision / mutilation type operations, and puberty party or ceremonies.

here in America we have no such rite of passage rule saying a person must lose their virginity by a certain age, though if you know any teens you would swear we had one lol the big deal around teens are who lost their virginity first and when and with who.

here in america we consider anyone who is 18 or older (sometimes 21 depending upon the state) an adult whether or not they have lost their virginity. some go their whole lives without losing their virginity and others have lost their virginity too young through abuse.

my suggestion is contact a medical doctor or mental health treatment provider in your own location and they will tell you if your location has a rite of passage rule that a person must have sex by a certain age. they will know the laws and rules about this kind of thing.

[DP_2017]

I'm 36 and never even been on a date, I've given up hope though but no there is no supposed age but I think it's tougher to find accepting people as you get older... and if you have issues with intimacy, they get worse with time so also a hurdle

[healingme4me]

I don't believe that there's a set age.

At the same time, the comments that brought about this question were to call you out for catfishing. So, I'm not leaning towards there being an age requirement, and am leaning towards online appearances in regards to how women could find it as such.

[divine1966]

Hickey?

Having a hickey isn’t any kind of sign of experience.

I am in my early 50s, married (second time) and raised a child, and had partners between my two marriages yet I never had a hickey and wouldn’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t go for kind of men who leave hickeys .

So sign me up with inexperienced crowd.

Originally Posted by lonelynotalone

I hadn’t realised this was a rule or expectation. If it is, then clearly I’ve been living under a rock; a very comfortably sheltered rock that I will never apologise for living under.

I’m very inexperienced for my age. When I have tried to ask questions about things, or share my opinions on the subjects of intimacy and sex, people seem to find it hard to believe that I’ve not done this or that and so therefore I must be lying or looking for attention.

Being genuine and open to others only seems to get harder as people grow colder, ignorant and judgmental.

I guess if you don't follow some sort of "normal", you'll always be a target.

Sex is some sort of social status symbol for some people
I can relate, definitely an uncomfortable topic to talk about when it's not a "field of experience" for you. But I assure you there are people who are more accepting

[Artchic528]

Of course there is no set age at which you should be experienced in sex and intimacy. To think that there should be is absolutely ludicrous!!! Everyone is different, and everyone experiences things at different times in their lives.

Some choose to save themselves for a special someone, or just to be chaste, while others are more inclined to explore as much as possible.

If we were all the same, doing things at the same rate we'd be no more than indistinct, identical grey blobs living out a meaningless predetermined life schedule.

Be thankful you are as unique as you are and can be in charge of your own individuality and can do things on your own time. Remember, your time will come someday, so don't sweat it so much!

And FYI, there is no such thing as this "normal". It's just some preconceived notion that people use to make themselves feel better. It doesn't even exist!