[cool09]

I haven't heard from my friend in 3 weeks after I told her about my problems. We talk about our problems via email. We met in the hospital 25 years ago. After I told her my problems all she said was "I will be back in a couple hours". She came back and said she went to church and prayed for me and that I would be healed. I thought this was very strange. She thinks that if she says a certain prayer 9 times she'll get what she prayed for. Is something wrong with her? Seems like she has a deep obsession with religion and her rituals are odd. I never heard of anyone acting like this before.

[SorryShaped]

Most rituals are odd to others.
If that prayer works, get me a copy of it and a lotto ticket please?

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't think praying is weird, lots of people do that for their friends and family. Perhaps you could give us more detail? What do you think it's strange?

Prayer is an interesting thing to me. On the one hand, most religions believe in their God's divine plan, and that everything happens for a reason. On the other hand, people will pray for certain things to happen, which seems to totally contradict their God's "divine plan". If His plan is perfect, why pray for anything to change?

Your friend believes what she believes, and it is nice that she is trying to help you in her own way. But no, saying a prayer 9 times will not "heal" you. Mental health issues generally cannot be cured, only managed.

[healingme4me]

Is it the fact that she prayed on it or the fact that she stopped the conversation midstream to go pray on it then to only say she prayed on it?

[cool09]

Is it the fact that she prayed on it or the fact that she stopped the conversation midstream to go pray on it then to only say she prayed on it?

Both. It was a weeknight and I found it odd that she stopped our conversation so she could drive to church and pray for me. I don't question her about her religion and praying, she's a very good friend. If I say anything negative about myself she will say "that's the devil talking". I don't believe in God or the Devil.

[Travelinglady]

Do you not want to be prayed for? It sounds like she has had a religious experience. As a Christian myself, though, I don't understand where she gets the praying a certain number of times.

I think mental illness can be healed, but I think God usually works through humans to do it. Usually, though, as was said, it can only be managed.

I have friends who are not believers, but not close friends. Of course, I hope you will come to see that God exists and is willing to have a personal relationship with us as humans. But that is your choice ultimately. You might need to tell your friend you appreciate her efforts but if she gets pushy or just runs off to pray for you, then it makes you uncomfortable and want to back away from her. (Is that fair to say?)

[cool09]

Do you not want to be prayed for?

I don't find it necessary.

then it makes you uncomfortable and want to back away from her. (Is that fair to say?)

What she does doesn't make me uncomfortable. I wonder why she expends her energy like this. If it means something to her I don't question her. If she were to mention God 200 times in a 3 minute conversation that would make me uncomfortable. She rarely talks about religion.

[eskielover]

Was that number 9 something you made up or did she tell you that specific number?

As a Christian who has a personal relationship eith God, we don't have to govto church to pray. Gid talks with us in prayer whereever we are. Sounds like possibly some non-Biblical rituals are being pyt into her prayers.

I struggled with praying also. Thoyght why ask if God is going to do his will anyway BUT the Bible shiws that God has answered prayers that are euthin His will even though it didn't seem possible. Prayer is just talking to God & one can't have a relationship without communication....thus prayer.

I don't believe in prayer. I am sure that people on a crashing airliner prayed - did it help? I am sure people facing a natural disaster prayed - did it help? I am pretty sure they prayed more than nine times. As sacrilegious as this is to others, I think the whole thing silly.

[Talthybius]

It must be so hard to deal with people that are so religious. Even so if you are religious yourself. When someone says to you 'That is the devil talking' when you say something rational about their irrationality; that must be horrible. Especially if one of you is suffering from mental illness.

If people feel like praying or doing some religious ritual, fine. (Well, not fine, but let's not go there.) But if a person doesn't think she needs to be a good friend by ie listening what you have to say and respond in a constructive manner but instead leaves immediately to go pray in some church somewhere, then that is their delusion getting in the way of them being as proper friend.
There is something inherently offensive, not just uselessness, about thinking you solved your friend's problem by praying to your version of the supernatural.

And if they then also start judging you using their twisted system of morality that has 0 room for nuances or reason, then I wouldn't know how to keep up with that.

[cool09]

When someone says to you 'That is the devil talking' when you say something rational about their irrationality; that must be horrible. Especially if one of you is suffering from mental illness.

Yeah, it breaks the momentum of the conversation. The concept of the devil means nothing to me. Obsessive praying like that definitely seems delusional but she's a good person. I don't question her about it. I think she's gone to Catholic school her whole life so who knows what they taught her.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by cool09

I haven't heard from my friend in 3 weeks after I told her about my problems. We talk about our problems via email. We met in the hospital 25 years ago. After I told her my problems all she said was "I will be back in a couple hours". She came back and said she went to church and prayed for me and that I would be healed. I thought this was very strange. She thinks that if she says a certain prayer 9 times she'll get what she prayed for. Is something wrong with her? Seems like she has a deep obsession with religion and her rituals are odd. I never heard of anyone acting like this before.

No, there is nothing wrong with her (well, it is not for me to judge), she is just a very religious person.
I have had few friends tell me that Jesus would heal my depression and that I should come to church and that it will solve almost all my problems... And this has been their only way of helping me. I don't keep much contact with them.
So, in summary there is nothing wrong with your friend. She values her faith and is offering to help you the only way she knows how (frankly, i disagree but again, it is not up to me to judge).

[SorryShaped]

I asked two christians that came to my door once if a dozen times, "if God heals all your woes, why do you ever have to go more than once? Healing is a cure." I swear, the two of them got three more people to my door the next day to pray with(more like at) me. I asked them to wait right there while I evilly snuck out the back and got the hose. I still think about that sometimes, and I still think it's a little bit funny. I probably shouldn't though. I know I did wrong.

[TishaBuv]

The praying part and the comment about the devil was your negativity wasn’t strange, IMHO. The leaving mid conversation and the nine times part was strange to me and I don’t know where she came up with the nine times number.

[cool09]

I take back what I said about Catholic Schools. Everyone has a right to go to school wherever they desire. It's just that Catholic School has been a mystery to me. I had friends and nieces/nephews that went to them. I'm not saying that Public School is the only way to go.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by cool09

I take back what I said about Catholic Schools. Everyone has a right to go to school wherever they desire. It's just that Catholic School has been a mystery to me. I had friends and nieces/nephews that went to them. I'm not saying that Public School is the only way to go.

It's not the path you take, but the destination

[divine1966]

I have ton of friends who went to catholic schools. They are perfectly great people. I even know a former nun who is still religious just not a nun, great tolerant person. I am Jewish and have friends from all walks of life and all kind of faith. Being religious doesn’t make them intolerant at all. If your friend is practicing Christian it’s not bad or weird that she goes for prayers at specific time.

If you are upset she doesn’t give you enough attention then it’s a valid concern but nothing really to do with religion.