[CalamityJane425]

Hello,
I've been away for awhile. And that's because there have been problems. Dealing with drug dealers who were harassing me with death threats, so I had to move in a hurry. I now live in transitional housing for homeless veterans. I'm anxious for my own place but it's not easy.
However everyone that is not why I've sought out Psych Central tonight. I'm sure many of you have heard of YouTube well so have I.
I've been watching a lot of Y.T. for months now. Tonight I discovered a Vlog from a young girl named Katelyn ( I don't remember her last name) she titled her Vlog Itz Dolly.
Katelyn was very poor she lived in a very dilapidated mobile home with a drug addict Mother who never seemed to care about her kids.
I'm pretty sure it was real because she killed herself & she was only 12.
Everyone abandoned her.
Her best friend who was jealous of her
Her Mother
So she took up with some loser online.
So she is gone.
A bright light gone.
And I'm pretty sad about it.
She did record her death but I didn't watch it.
I can remember when I was 12 years old & I was catching so much hell at home.
I had been living with an absentee, naïve, not so bright Father, and his 2nd wife who had molested, physically, mentally abused me. It went on for 4 years.
Finally one day I had had enough & I LEFT. I ran away. I didn't have a plan but I knew if I stayed I would have hurt that woman. Blood would have been spilt. So I got out. But running away is a real scary option especially for a child.
I get so pissed off at parents being selfish!
Selfish parents who expect the child to be the parent of the siblings when they themselves haven't grown up.
I totally hate parents.

[Quarter life]

Hi Calamity.

Sure sounds like you are going through some hard times right now. I can certainly empathise with you needing to find a safe, dry, warm place to land. I do hope that something comes to light soon for you.

As for parents...how long have you got? I absolutely don't believe in childhood...that span of time where so many of us had no voice or power to change our dreadful situations. All I can say is that even though the scars and memories are still apparent...we survived to tell the tale. I am the eldest of 6 beautiful girls who all ended up f*cked for life...consequence of selfish, narcissistic, monstrous adults who had absolutely no right having children. My parents actions changed who I was, and who I was meant to become...there is no forgiveness.

Please be kind & generous to yourself CalamityJane, and all the best in finding your safe place in the world.

(((((CalamityJane))))) hope you can find somewhere to live by yourself soon, so sorry you went through all that