[frustlandlady]

Well, here is the situation, it has been a really slow divorce, it took 3 months that we stopped communicating as partners, but we still communicated as friends, but our emotional connection (from my side, I can not speak for him and his side) was less and less as time went by. I think he had the expectation that I might return to him as a partner, and thus he was still communicating with me. I am still grieving for this specific partner after all this time. We now don't communicate at all for some days. I am trying to keep thinking that now I can do all the stuff that our relationship was preventing me from doing, but that doesn't seem enough. I am still grieving. I can not find a good enough relief. I think that my "partner life" is over. I got sick from all of this. I mean physically ill. My face got full of acne from all the stress, apart from other symptoms. And I am still grieving. I wish there was a miracle that could fix everything. I had so many expectations from this man. My expectations from him were that high, to show matureness and responsibility, and all of those expectations were destroyed, that I feel I can not trust anyone else in the future...

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...ationship.html
That was my story...

[SorryShaped]

Good that you're processing, at your own pace

[frustlandlady]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Good that you're processing, at your own pace

I don't think I am processing. I got ill from all of this...

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by frustlandlady

I don't think I am processing. I got ill from all of this...

You're still in it. You didn't just ignore it. I think you're processing, at your pace. It will get better. Talk to your therapist about it, as much as you can. Post here, as much as you need

[frustlandlady]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

You're still in it. You didn't just ignore it. I think you're processing, at your pace. It will get better. Talk to your therapist about it, as much as you can. Post here, as much as you need

I don't have a therapist. Thank you so much.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by frustlandlady

I don't have a therapist. Thank you so much.

May I suggest you get one? Grieving a relationship is very much like processing a death. It takes time and you will come out of this stronger and smarter. It's ok to cry. I did and sometimes still do over my failed marriage. It's also ok to move on.

[divine1966]

I am sorry you are struggling.

I am not sure though why you are calling it divorce if you two weren’t married. Since you two have no children together, there is absolutely no need to be communicating. It’s hard to get over it if you keep talking. He wasn’t a suitable partner and it wasn’t right relationship for you, there was no commitment after 5 years. I can ensure you that there are plenty of nice men who will commit and treat you great. You just need to get overvthis one. Stop talking to him. Cut it off. Start healing.

And maybe do look for therapy. I think you need to really get to the bottom of why you stayed in relationship that lacked commitment, for that long. It doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t do. Focus on why you did what you did, so you don’t end up in the same situation again. Good therapist can really help

[frustlandlady]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry you are struggling.

I am not sure though why you are calling it divorce if you two weren’t married. Since you two have no children together, there is absolutely no need to be communicating. It’s hard to get over it if you keep talking. He wasn’t a suitable partner and it wasn’t right relationship for you, there was no commitment after 5 years. I can ensure you that there are plenty of nice men who will commit and treat you great. You just need to get overvthis one. Stop talking to him. Cut it off. Start healing.

And maybe do look for therapy. I think you need to really get to the bottom of why you stayed in relationship that lacked commitment, for that long. It doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t do. Focus on why you did what you did, so you don’t end up in the same situation again. Good therapist can really help

Sorry, wrong word... I should say "break up" instead, perhaps I felt like getting divorced, that's why I unconsciously said "divorced"...