Doing too much work around the house?

About a month ago a very close friend of mine got a run-down house for very cheap, and he suggested that me, his friends, and himself all redo it so that after it is redone my girlfriend and I can live in it.

My girlfriend is pregnant, but she insists on helping with the house. Whenever I tell her she shouldn't, because it's probably not good for her to be lifting heavy things and working, she gets mad and says that I never let her do anything because she's pregnant. She also gets mad if I cook, do the laundry, etc.

Me and her get along great, and I love her very much, but the issue of me doing lots of chores and work seems to really get her angry.

Is it normal for to be angry because I'm doing too many chores?
(Never thought I'd ask this...)

i would suggest you make a list of stuff the night before that you need her to do and show her the list you have to do...on her list get her to cook (its not that heavy work) ask her to dust(make sure its like a cloth and not a heavy spray)....wash dishes ...and other light things...when she sees all the work that needs to be done she wont even bother asking...then you can do the vaccuming and heavy lifting....when my dad was lifting stuff i always had door holder job...and he barked alot to make it feel real important lol....but she can do some stuff depending on how far a long she is...granted she does need to take it easy...scheduale breaks.....say that you need to relax for a few minutes...to grab a snack...and then another one for lunch and so on...make it like 15 minutes....that way she is keeping active and making sure she has vital nutirionates going into her body....and perhaps at the next doctors appointment ask the doctor what other kind of conditions you and she should look for....what she can and cannot do...everyone is different...one girl might need bedrest the whole time...while another girl runs and does pilates until she gives birth....she is not being angry because she wants to pick a fight....she just wants to feel useful...she probably see's it as ...this is my house too i want to earn it....i want to help...and when you tell her not to she probably feels left out....she feels unneeded...and its not nice to feel unneeded....remember her horomones are going to be everywhere also....so keep that in mind. And at the end of a long day of working offer her a backrub and/or a foot rub....draw her a nice hot relaxing bath...that way she doesnt feel your pushing her aside but embracing that she can do things and then at the end of the day relax and destress and take some one on one time with her body and baby. Good luck....

You do know that if the pregnancy is normal, there isn't anything you really can't do when you are pregnant. I vacumed, moved boxes, went horse back riding, I was even doing down hill skiing 1 month before my due date. I also went swimming almost every day to keep in good shape. It would have been the easiest pregnancy if I wasn't so small. My bones were too close together, so she turned breech & would have never been able to make it out normally so I had to have a C-section. I only gained 10 lbs but she was 8 lbs 2 ounces....huge for how small I was. Some things we just can't control.

My Obgyn said he had a patient that did sky diving & he told her that it was ok to do things that you normaly are do when you aren't pregnant. He said it just wasn't ok to do things your body wasn't in shape to do or you were doing something you didn't know how to do because then you would be taking an unknown risk. Go figure....this was 29 years ago. He was a very progressibe ObGyn for that day & age.

I wouldn't worry about what she can & can't do unless she has a problem pregnancy. If the pregnancy is normal, there isn't much that can happen to mess up. Just let her be & do the things she wants to do.

Debbie

I wouldn't get mad if my husband did too many chores. I might feel guilty, though.

Hey there and Welcome.

First, I'd like to say that I agree with "eskielover" about being able to do anything one did before they were pregnant and doing them when pregnant. I was 8 months pregnant when I moved 2000 miles-- packed and lifted boxes, cleaned and scrubbed, also had to get the old yard in shape for selling so I moved wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of rock-- and to top it off-- I had a 20 month old to care for too.

Now, second-- I might be way off here-- just wanted to give you something to consider-- My mother-in-law gets angry at my father-in-law whenever he tries to help her. She has a way to do things and doesn't care for them to be done differently. It's a kind of comfort I think, for her to know that things are done "her" way. I've heard that some people can have issues of "control" when it comes to doing things a certain way-- don't know if your girlfriend is like that about her cooking and laundry but just thought it'd be something else to think about......

And third-- I wish you could come to my house-- I'd absolutely adore you doing the laundry and cooking!!!

take care,

mandy

Thanks for the tips everyone.

Legewood,

I don't mean to find entertainment in your situation, but it brought a smile to my face, I've been there and done that. This is your first baby huh? Keep in mind her hormones are running wild while she's pregnant. It's sweet that you're concerned, but her body will let her know her limitations.

Lifting, moving boxes, and things like that are fine while you're pregnant. I don't know how far along she is, but toward the end of the pregnancy she'll get a nesting urge and start emptying cupbords and reline shelves, re arrange the nursery a dozen or so times, and a million other things that you will not understand the need to do.

The only thing I'd be concerned about in this situation is being in the house that is being remodeled while paint is being sanded off. I'm assuming the house is older, and my contain lead paint and asbestos insulation.

just to add to what everyone else has said , not sure how true it is but while your girlfriend is moving around doing chores and things it will make the birth easier

i helped remodel a garden on my first moving stones for a hedge

Most women would kill to have a man like you. i know through both of my pregnancies, it was like pulling teeth to get my hubby to so much as lift a finger around the house. he hated the fact he had to clean the cat litter cos the dr. told me not to. it put alot of strain on us and i get getting upset cos he told me i was just lazy.

one factor to keep in mind is that hormones can run away with a woman during pregnancy, and that maybe what you are experiencing is her every rapidly changing emotions. as hard as it is and as much as it may suck, try to grin and bear it. it does get better i promise.