Why I (Rationally) Don't Want a Romantic Relationship

I'll express my more rational side
I don't see a point in living life if there is no relationship involved. However, due to my HF-ASD and lacking social skills, I will not have the accommodating social skills in order to thrive well along the future with a family who can keep up with the pace of reality
Pessimistic as it may seem, I also have high standards of myself, and because they are not fulfilled, I do not wish to live
I could go to work because *yawn* "you have to go to work". But with no romantic relationship (heck, not even any other relationship due to my extremely high sensitivity to abusive behavior), I see it as pointless, other than using the money to buy things for myself, which is rather boring. I would love to use that money to give, but it's not like I have any friends I can give to

Yes, I could be a better person, but ever since my suicide attempt a few months ago, I worry I have come to a stance

Life is boring when it's all selfish and all about me. My family would never let me give anything. They would reject my offerings, and then could blame me with things like "You don't care about me", or any other bad scoldings

Let's look at this from a more overall perspective - I am a person living in a pretty much socially isolated family

I get this feeling I am sometimes convincing people I am worthless, rather than convincing them I am worthy

I lost interest connecting with people a long time ago
I have a selfish thought of - if I'm not high quality, then I am no quality, and it's true for me

Back to the relationship topic - getting a relationship for "having kids" is absolutely boring. I want a relationship for its experience, not just because people tell you to do it. Boring, not interesting

Just, give me a suicide pill. I really don't care anymore. Let me end this life peacefully. Rather own the fact that my life has ended than compromise and live in mediocrity

^”high sensitivity to abusive behavior” This is brilliant! You are 100% right. That’s exactly what is the crux of the issue! I commiserate, as I have this too. And, even, perhaps I want some abusive as well?

However, everyone has something to offer the world. I disagree that life is not worth living without a romantic relationship.

But, I do relate to your feelings on the subject.

I think you suffer from severe depression though. The suicidality is the depression talking.

Heh, that depression is my experiences, so I highly value them as part of my own!
I am a very integral person. Whatever mental illness I am going through - it's all a part of me - of who I am, of what I've been through, of my legacy

That is a good point. Which came first the chicken or the egg? What causes what? Does Depression, which is a biological illness, cause one to view their experiences in a more devastating way, or do life’s experiences cause the depression (which is then really just sadness)?

One of the psy’s I saw diagnosed me with MDD. Now, does that mean I have an underlying biological imbalance that is the root cause of much of my troubles?

Back to the main topic now

When was your last romantic relationship?

A few months ago

I can sense you are a romantic and have much love to give.

I'm sorry that you are having suicidal thoughts and you don't feel connected with anyone.

Not everyone in life is abusive, though. Surely if you reach out and look for healthy friendships you will eventually find some? You said that life is boring when it is all about you, but truthfully there must be some people out there who have also been hurt and abused and could use the caring that you have to offer.


I don't feel capable of having a healthy relationship at this point in my life either, but I hope someday I will be. And I hope if that is what you want that you will someday achieve it also.

I'm sorry that you don't feel worthy, or that you even feel at all like it's your job to convince anyone at all. I hope that you know you are valuable. And if you are feeling suicidal I hope that you will talk with a professional and make sure you are OK.

When I see natural disasters on TV, it reminds me how we are just like ants. We just have to start rebuilding our little ant hills and just keep at it... That’s what we do. Working jobs for money, choosing spouses, having kids, building, rebuilding. Some people have families, others give parachute lessons, still others rob banks. Everybody’s little ant hill gets stepped on and then they start rebuilding, scurry scurry...

Sounds boring as hell

What is it you do that is so interesting and exciting? What do you imagine your relationship being like, if not the mundane everyday grind?

I don't know, I just love its experiences, exploring each other and enjoying that

I will confess something which is very hard for me to confess, especially when I am sure some women here have gone through abusive relationships, so there may be a sensitivity to that

You’ll only push people away when you cling. Maybe it’s a kinetic energy thing.