[Dogcat177]

My parents have been separated for 2 years. At first I was very upset with my mom because she cheated on my father. Eventually I’ve grown past the anger I felt towards her but my dad is still very bitter. She got a lot of my dads money in the divorce, he is obviously upset about that which I understand. I feel like the details of their divorce and the problems in their marriage are non of my business which is why I try my best to stay out of it. I’ve asked my dad not not talk to me about it because it upsets me. My dad expects me not to love my mom because of what she has done to him and he tried to force information soon me. I’ve asked him so many times not to but he just doesn’t stop. Tonight he sent to group message to my mom, myself, and my little sister calling my mom a ***** for cheating on him and stealing his money. This is obviously very upsetting.My dad is kind of unstable and I feel like I’m walking on egg shells around him because it just takes one smalll thing to set him off. He tries to pin me against my mom by telling me horrible things about her. And I’ll admit sometimes it works but I don’t want to hate my mom and I feel it’s unfair for my father expect me to not love her for what she has done to him. At the same time I don’t agree with what my mom had put him through it it makes me very sad to see how depressed he is because of her. Am I wrong to still love my mom even though I know she has hurt my dad so deeply? And is it wrong for me to be upset with my dad for involving me and trying to make me hate my mom? I’m so worried about my dad it just seems like bad things keep happening to him and I’m concerned he might be suicidal. I want to be there for my dad because he’s going through a lot bit I can’t imagine my life without my mom. I’m trying to hold everyone up and keep the peace and make sure everyone else is okay but I feel like I’m drowning.

[eskielover]

Take care if YOURSELF first. Your parents are adults, they can take care of themselves.

You have told your dad's side of the story. I totally agree cheeting is wrong no matter what is going on in the marriage but I'm sensing there is a huge part before the cheating happened that you may not be aware of between your parents.

Bottom line in divorces is that the lawyers can ask for the moon but the judge has the final say & in most states after a long marriage it is 50/50 division.....some states are equitable division. Your dad should be mad at the judge not your mom as she didn't make the final judgment in the divorce, the judge did.

Divorce is complex & there are 2 serious sides to it & you may be getting only half truths on the whole thing.....best to either stay out of it all together.

[nicoleflynn]

Parents should never discuss what is going on between the two of them; sharing it with their children is cruel. If they insist on talking to you about it, simply walk away.

[MickeyCheeky]

Cheating is bad, forcing you to take sides is bad. I'm sorry you're involved in this mess

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

It is not right for your parents to put you in the middle of their marital problems. Unfortunately it happens a lot. It’s not wrong to love your Mom. She is a human being and fallible, but she’s still your mom.

[LEARN2018]

I think its noble of you to care about both of your parents. However, it is very important to remember that its very hard to help someone at all if you aren't taking care of yourself.