No Communication!

Hello.

I feel like I am about to have a heart attack. My husband and I have been seperated since August because of an affair he had this summer. He came to me in August for a reconciliation 2 days before I was moving into my apartment. We spent 2 months spending time together and trying to work on our marriage (half heartedly) and for the past 3 to 4 weeks he has been telling me he needs his space. We have spent time together, but whenever I contact him he flips out on me and screams, 'give me my space!'.

I called off our divorce in October, which I filed for because I thought we were going to honestly work on our marriage and a week later he told me he wasn't sure if staying together was the best idea.

Now he says he is not ready to make a decision one way or the other (marriage or divorce) and that he just needs some time alone.

We went to dinner last Sunday and when he left he said he would talk to me "in a few days". Well, I have not heard from him at all. I am afraid to contact him because I am afraid he will scream at me, 'give me my space!'.

I am honestly very worried about him. My husband is very bi-polar and I believe he is manic. He consumes an astronomical amount of caffiene which I know interferes with his medication and he does not sleep on a regular schedule.

My problem is that I am worried about him, but I am also sick and tired of waiting around for him to get his act together. I realize that he is sick and that he does love me, but I am really hurting. I feel as if he is being unfair by asking me to give him space and while I'm sitting around waiting for him he is out with his friends and sleeping all day on the couch at our house.

I would appreciate any advice anyone has to give. I love my husband very much and I have told him that I will be here waiting for him with open arms. I guess I've given him permission to keep me at a distance, but I am afraid if I give him an ultimatum he will just divorce me and I honestly want to stay married to him.

Thank you.

hum
i think understand his want to not keep u close, i tried to keep my ex apart slightly, cuz we both have issues, and if we gottoo close they affect each other too much.
just a thought idk
self
take care

(we talked on chat, remember?)

maybe it would be a good thing if you agreed on sitting down for a talk, without mentioning his manic episode(that always get's me kind of angry too). And to try to make like a schedule or something for meeting each other... like maybe once every two days, from that time till that time. like that, he can make sure that he doesn't get afraid, and you can look forward too that time instead of worrying about if you should contact him or not...

Thanks for the idea mr. unstable. That sounds like a good idea to me. I can only hope he will go for that. I might mention that next time I talk to him.

Thanks again.
xoxo

Hi msinfiniti,

Sorry you and your husband are having difficulties right now. Marriage can be so difficult at times can't it?

I would say at this point, since he is unsure and you also seem to be unsure of what you want that you take a break for awhile. Maybe you can have "date" nights. Setting up a time to spend together with no expectations but having some fun together. Maybe bowling, mini golf, taking in a movie, out to dinner, a drive in the country or to the beach or lake.

Sometimes we need to get back to basics so to speak. Think about what drew you both together to begin with and go with it. Leave the issues behind for awhile....give yourselves some time to spend together without the hassles of all the responsibilities. You both deserve to have some fun.....and if you both truly love each other, then I think this might really help with communication and reconnecting as the loving couple you once were.

I wish you both well and hope that things progress in a postive manner for you!

Hugsss
sabby

Thank you for the suggestion. I am hoping to talk to my husband soon. I have decided I am not going to contact him and hopefully I will hear from him.

I cannot talk to him when he is so manic. I am praying that the mania will subside enough for him to want to call me or see me simply because I am his wife and he misses me.

xoxo

Be sure and take extra good care of yourself through this difficult time.