[scareddaughter]

I overheard my parents talking last night. It was not my intention to listen though. I went to their room to tell them about the upcoming event in school. However, when I was about to open, I noticed that they were talking seriously about divorce. I was speechless. They were not arguing but simply talking. I was afraid it will really happen. I heard my mom said we will be moving to a foreign country once the divorce will be granted. I was so broken when my dad agreed. I can’t let that happen. It shouldn’t. How can I tell them to stop that nonsense?

[WishfulThinker66]

I am really sorry but this is their decision to make. It is not you who has to live their lives.

I realise this would be devastating but there are a few things you should consider....

- Perhaps there has been an event ongoing or otherwise that one or the other cannot live with or forgive.
- Is it fair to ask them to live miserably?
- should you expect two people to live lovelessly together?

I agree that this all is rather traumatic - especially if it comes as a surprise. There are studies out there that show that staying together for the sake of one's children actually backfires as the stress of maintaining such a relationship negatively affects them. If the two parents can get along separately it is a much better situation for the children involved. The fact that your parents are talking calmly about this together suggests to me that would be just the case.

So, I want you to think about being in either parents' shoes. Realise this is a very difficult decision for them and that they very much will be considering you in the decision they must make.

Welcome to the website and forum by the way. There is no indication of what round about age you are. Are you a youth or a young adult? If you are the former I think I would, come the new school year, approach a guidance counsellor. Other wise, I would encourage you to raise your worries and angst and have a heart to heart with them.

In my own case, while I despise the man, my own marital breakup went rather smoothly and we were able to remain civil afterwards for the children's sake. They were certainly in a better atmosphere growing up than had I stayed with him.

Good luck as you work your own way through this painful experience.

[healingme4me]

The unknown is certainly fearful. Sorry that this is happening in your life, right now. As far as speaking up, if it's a big move and change, seems you might be able to voice your preference on where you would like to live. Usually, in the States, 13yo and up can input preference of where and with whom to live with.