[Stradalets]

My main problem is loneliness. I am now a VIP member of Pen Pal World. Does anyone have any experience with that site. I am unable to find any friends there -- I have to learn the ropes.

[ChipperMonkey]

I am a VIP member. I can't tell if you're male or female, so my apologies. The females tend to get more attention, or so I'm told. I am female and I have a number of pen pals right now. So yes, a picture helps. It also helps to write something quirky or unique or simply funny in your profile. I've been told a number of times that my profile is one of the more interesting ones on the site. If someone has something funny in their profile, I am a lot more likely to add them. Also, writing something interesting or unusual in your profile helps give others a place to start when they message you for the first time. There is a search function where you can look for men/women/both, limit the age range, etc. If you're a guy, be prepared for the solicitations for money and marriage. If you're a female, be prepared for the guys to hit on you and tell you that you're beautiful while asking for more pictures. Don't feel bad about ignoring people, as I do it all the time. Well, not *all* the time, but when people are rude or send obvious copy/paste messages, you don't owe them a response. Most people are nice, but there are a few bad apples.

I hope this helps. Do you have any other questions?

[Stradalets]

Thank you very much. I am a 44 year old male.

Given that I do not have a job or money, I am not looking for female friends.

I am looking for other men who have experienced longterm emotional abuse and/or midlife crisis.

[ChipperMonkey]

Honestly, I don't think that many people post those kinds of things on their profiles. I know I haven't come across any that state anything like that, and I don't advertise my PTSD, either. I have shared my anxiety issues with a number of pen pals, and they are very supportive even though they haven't been through anything similar.

I have been able to find support for my disorder on sites such as this one where others have a similar diagnosis. I go to PPW to make friends who are different from me so that I can find more "normal" (for lack of a better word) friends.

Money and job status don't matter so much. I am on disability with no job right now but that doesn't prevent me from making friends, male friends I should say. Many people there don't really care about stuff like that as long as you're good at holding up your end of the conversation and are relatable.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I have been able to find support for my disorder on sites such as this one where others have a similar diagnosis. I go to PPW to make friends who are different from me so that I can find more "normal" (for lack of a better word) friends.

Thank you. I have made a youtube video (in Russian) describing some problems of online conversation:

1) It is very slow
2) It can attract uninvited attantion
3) I have to share my issues with Humanity and Eternity

How can I find telephone friends?

[ChipperMonkey]

Yes, much online conversation in forums such as this is very slow. Have you tried the chat function here or elsewhere? I know that on another forum I belong to, chat disappears after so many lines, so its not like all you say is out there forever. (I'm sure in some sense it's always "out there" but its not easily accessible like a forum post.) I've made a few friends that way.

I'm not sure how you can find telephone friends specifically. I know that on PPW, a lot of people start out by messaging and then graduate on to other methods of communication. I have one friend I talk to and text (he's in the US), another friend in the UK that I Skype, and the rest of my pen pals I just email but am open to other forms of communication in the future.

As with anything, it takes time to learn the ropes and to actually find those whom you can trust. I hope it works out for you and you can find people to connect to!

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I'm not sure how you can find telephone friends specifically.

At this point one of my main problems is that I am totally alone.

What can I do?

[eduardobr61]

I recommend penpaland com its a language exchange-based social network.

[platto]

For me it is also very important to find penpals. To exchange ideas and everyday life experiences. It is good to find my balance in life.

But I have to find out it is getting more and more difficult to find a good penpal. 10 years ago it was much easier. Looks like the lifestyle is changing. Or is it because of social media ... maybe that's my people to not need any e-mail friendships anymore.