[DP_2017]

My best friend lives in another state, we see each other 2 weekends a year otherwise it's a text based friendship.

Anyway so we have these mutual friends we both met on the same photography site many years ago, I've met them once and she hangs with them often since they live about 2 hours away. They are both special needs young women.

The issue I am confused about is.... she constantly texts and complains to me about them, like how annoying they are when they are all hanging out together or the weird things they do that make her uncomfortable.... she always says she is so excited to be back when they hang out because they wear her out and yet she keeps hanging out with them. The other day, I saw a post on one of their FB pages... and my friend commented saying how much this woman inspired her and without knowing her she would not be in the job she loves and has (she works with special needs people)

So... is it weird that she would complain constantly about people, yet keep hanging out with them and say things like that on FB?? I am starting to wonder how she really feels about me.... maybe she is complaining about me and my anxiety to people sometimes. Would this bother you at all? Am I over reacting for finding this a bit odd and annoying?

[healingme4me]

Have you asked her why she continues to put herself in situations that stress her to the point of texting her frustrations to you?

I had a “friendship” like this for the past five years and recently distanced myself. This person never invited me to a single thing. Constantly posted pictures of herself on fb with other friends. And then complained to me about many of them. Can’t believe my self esteem was so low that I accepted that as a friendship. Your case might be different since you’ve invested many years in what seems to have otherwise been a good friendship. I would definitely speak up kindly to her about it. In my case I went from politely trying to distance myself but always allowing myself to get pulled back in and it ended up with tension and some animosity which I never wanted. Avoiding speaking up when something bothers you always ends seems to bite you in the butt eventually.