[Medusax]

Does anyone else ever feel like they are there for others, in a BIG way, but when you yourself are down and need ONLY to talk and commiserate for some emotional support, no one is around?

I'm there for others, but irl nobody is there for me so I understand what you're saying

[Medusax]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

I'm there for others, but irl nobody is there for me so I understand what you're saying

That..and I am sick of hearing "You're STRONG..you'll get over it." it doesn't help.

[marvin_pa]

There's been plenty of times that I've felt that. The conditions we endure are lonely ones.

But, it can also be hard to listen.. to understand.. to offer words that we honestly think may help. Being told 'you're strong, you'll get over it' can be really irritating when you neither believe that you or the person offering the words believes those words - but, even if they're not truly believed, they're likely meant in hope, especially if offered from someone in a place like this.

[eskielover]

Use to be like that for 54 years of my life. Left & moved to a new place & it is not like that at all. Took me awhile to get used to but it sure is nice.

Before I would start to say something & the conversation would go off in another direction & I would never finish what I was saying. Then I moved here & people were listening. I was so used to not finishing what I had to say that I found myself stopping & realizing they were still listening. Then I had to remember my train of thought & actually get to finish expressing myself. Took a few years to get used to.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Medusax

Does anyone else ever feel like they are there for others, in a BIG way, but when you yourself are down and need ONLY to talk and commiserate for some emotional support, no one is around?

I felt that way until a couple of months ago when I (almost realistically) threw myself into crowds of friends both old and new.

We talk, now. I had to let go of my wariness, and assumption that I would be hurt but... that hasn’t happened yet. I’ve been overwhelmed by kindness, instead. And I’m loving it.

Yep. It’s happened to me a lot. I like what others have posted here because it sounds like they’ve managed to change their life circumstances to turn that around. I’m working on that.

[Row Jimmy]

IMO - I think BP folks are altruistic by nature. While we are driven and crash into the wall on a regular basis, we're still here to help. I find that to be the core of my nature. Perhaps it is the element of being driven. We want to solve problems, we want to cure what can be cured, we want to fix what is broken. But we're not always up to the task. Deep down, I am a caring individual. I can write a mournful tome, step in when needed, offer some guidance or helpful advice (I think), but I find myself more inclined to help myself because I need more than I can give. I can get selfish when it comes to *me*. It is frustrating to me and it affects my relationships with others. I'm not always up to the task.

[*Laurie*]

The theme of my life. I am a good listener. I truly enjoy listening to others, and I naturally empathize. Unfortunately, I very, very seldom find that people in my life listen to me. It's terribly hurtful. I have learned that, rather than be wounded by not being listened to, I just don't talk much.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by marvin_pa

There's been plenty of times that I've felt that. The conditions we endure are lonely ones.

But, it can also be hard to listen.. to understand.. to offer words that we honestly think may help. Being told 'you're strong, you'll get over it' can be really irritating when you neither believe that you or the person offering the words believes those words - but, even if they're not truly believed, they're likely meant in hope, especially if offered from someone in a place like this.