[saidso]

I've been relationship avoidant for a couple of months and suddenly I'm deluged with tricky stuff - stuff that challenges my ability to balance setting firm boundaries with my co-operative side.

I seem to know what to do and to sail through it BUT every conflictual interaction adds to the stress piling up inside.

I helped out a former boss for one day only because his mangeress injured herself and he's blaming me for something that one of her employees did wrong. I initially told him what I observed of the incident but said that the employee told me that he knew what he was doing and I was dealing with customers so, apart from checking he'd added things up right I let him get on with it.

I have a workman supposed to be working on my house who has done nothing but get his wife to call in sick. He's ignored his back problems for ages and I've cut him slack beccause of that, but today had to call wife and say that I need her help to problem solve with him.

I had a totally **** deal yesterday with mail order and then with the shop and then with their head office. I need warm clothes to go work somewhere cold next week, so then I had to traipse around all evening looking for alternatives. Spent more money than I intended, but issues 1,2 and 4 left me with little time to get this organised.

I had someone else coming round to work who has just come back from holiday with a streaming cold, and I had to put her off because getting the flu is the last thing that I need when I'm flying off to work for strangers abroad.

Like I've read on other threads, none of these issues are big in themselves but rather the stress pile inside me that they trigger ...

I need downtime to process relationship issues well. I can handle difficult situations, and know I'm handling them ok, and still get stressed out. Stressing out leads to dissociating which certainly doesn't help relationships with self or others along.

It helps me to read here and know that others struggle with having emotional reactions, and then dissociating. Helps me to know life is complex and learning new stuff isn't a reason to beat myself up inside.

It's the non-dissociated self that needs support. She is feeling wobbly.

We have decisions to make today about fixing our burglar alarm and travel insurance. Both involve money and neither is straightforward. I can't believe how many exclusions and excesses travel insurance has these days: never took it out before. I don't want those decisions but ignoring them isn't smart either. Hmmmm….

[TishaBuv]

Take it one thing at a time. You can do it!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( saidso )))))))

[saidso]

I've been totally freaked out all day. I solved the burglar alarm situation but got a dozen useless travel insurance quotes because my stay will be longer than the standard allowance for my age group!

Lol now my house sitter e-mailed to say her situation has changed, but she did that carefully so it was a plus. Someone is coming to help me sort out a specification for the self-injured workman, another huge plus.

The problem is my self. I was so freaked that I got under the duvet and simply tried to send myself "love" feelings. Then I slept for a couple of hours and woke up feeling slightly more functional.

I don't get this, and I'm worried about being in this state while travelling precisely because I don't get it. I need to practice this sending "love" feelings to myself because it's the only thing that calms me down.

Thank you both very much!

[falsememory7]

Feeling dissociated is no fun. Sending you hugs. It gets better, and you are already doing a great job getting through it.

[saidso]