[TheSeaCat]

I honestly don't know what to do. I have a situation with the boyfriend and I don't know what to really do. I really need advice, the boyfriend and I had a terrible fight last night and I'm afraid I am at my end honestly. I guess I should start from the beginning for the past three days we have been getting bombarded with his medical bills regarding his asthma. Like scary numbers one was from a trip we took and he ended up in a hospital because he was allergic to something he didn't know he was allergic too. I just there has to be easily $10,000 worth of bills.

We talked about his asthma and how doses of Solu Medrol only cost in the end. I told him that I wished he would use him Nebulizer which he hates because it's loud. I told him I supported him all the times he's be in the hospital and I asked if he would please take a long lunch on the day I have to visit the Cardiologist, he said no that work was more important and that he wanted to be a bank branch manager by the time he was thirty and couldn't take off for me. Granted I have gone to all but one of his doctor's appointment. I honestly feel like his mother when it comes to medical issues; he says it's because I work with doctors that I understand doctors. I told him I was absolutely terrified that the Cardiologist would find something wrong and I would somehow spiral out of control out of again.

He then grabs my visit summary from my family doc visit yesterday and he gets downright hateful that I'm seeing him for a yearly exam instead of a female. He starts spewing hate, he's like you keep texting this dude, he's from work. He's like you have entirely to many males keeping you in check. Family doc; male, Cardiologist; male, Therapist; male, PA from work; you guessed it male. He's also suddenly mad that I've stayed in contact with one of my exs; whom he also close too; they text often too. He understood that this ex is like my brother that I'm proud of. He's finishing up Med School and wants a surgical residency. He suggested I start talking to another Therapist I like this one because he is also Bipolar and also has anxiety. He also diagnosed me with PTSD from my former workplace. I see him three times a week after work. He is unhappy that I see my T that much.

The PA I've mentioned earlier offered to tag along for the Cardiologist and I know for a fact the boyfriend certainly won't be tagging along. I know it will irritate him but it's not like I can ask my family to tag along since my father usually railroads previous doctors into a diagnosis or a medication I really don't need. My mother is beyond conversation. I don't have a lot of friends because they left once they realized I had issues.

I just don't know what to do with the boyfriend, is he showing is true colors and wanting me to his mother, jealous, or just a giant man baby. Fyi he's two years older than I am. We just have never had this bad of a fight and I am just so confused about what to do.

My Aunt and T think it's time to walk, they both said I'm strong and intelligent and don't need his extra drama with this new job and everything. I have enough of it with mother and father. I don't need his crap on top of it all. I just wanted one thing and now he made me feel absolutely terrible since apparently I have trust issues when it comes to females; when I am one.

Do I listen to the Aunt, Therapist, and Coworker or do I stick and try to work it out; knowing he won't do the thing I need him to do?

[healingme4me]

Why does he need to see a cardiologist?

Good thing you haven't combined your accounts yet. 10K for an out of country? Hospital stay? I think that I hear what you are saying with him about needing to take steps to avoid these asthmatic crisis. At the same time, it's not up to you to be his mother.

I'm wondering if there's more context from your bfs side about calling you out for only going to male drs for everything?

I would cut him loose. He sounds overly jealous, possessive and controlling which are signs of an abusive personality. NO need for the drama as your aunt and therapist are saying. It looks like it's headed down a bad road.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Why does he need to see a cardiologist?

Good thing you haven't combined your accounts yet. 10K for an out of country? Hospital stay? I think that I hear what you are saying with him about needing to take steps to avoid these asthmatic crisis. At the same time, it's not up to you to be his mother.

I'm wondering if there's more context from your bfs side about calling you out for only going to male drs for everything?

I have to see a cardiologist and it's because every time anyone checks my pulse it's around the area of 120-150.

10k of bills combined; granted that one med bill from when were in a different state was quite terrifying.

I know it's not up to me to be his mother, it's just hard sitting and watching him go through it.

I wonder that too if something is bothering him, I invited him to Aunt's house to have a conversation, I'm pretty sure I'm just done. Everyone around me says I can do better. Thank you for your comment.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I would cut him loose. He sounds overly jealous, possessive and controlling which are signs of an abusive personality. NO need for the drama as your aunt and therapist are saying. It looks like it's headed down a bad road.

Thank you for your comment; the problem is he has never been jealous about anything before, or possessive which is strange, but I agree they are really bad signs and I don't need to head down a bad road, it feels like I've finally got things figured out. I plan to have a conversation and try to see where he is coming from.