My daughter and her friend were over tonight when my girlfriend called. My girlfriend is down with the flu and needed some consolation. My daughter's friend told me she learned some techniques in her psych class 101 and advised me to tell my friend that I too had the flu and I was nauseous, with fever, etc. This sounded strange to me because 1) I don't have the flu and 2) why would I lie to my friend saying I had it??

My question to anyone out there is, would you lie to your friend and tell her you had the flu to allegedly make her feel better? Would she feel better if I had the flu?

I'm not comfortable lying.

[Elio]

No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.

[growlycat]

This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is

Originally Posted by Elio

No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.

I like your response Elio. My daughter's friend may have been working on some report or idea of her own. My own teachings were more like yours. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure my friend would immediately know that I was making it up.

Originally Posted by growlycat

This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is

Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Cara8tz

Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.

She definitely has it wrong!!

Here is the Wikipedia definition as it relates to psychology
Mirroring (psychology - Wikipedia)

[InnerPeace111]

I would not lie.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

No, that doesn't make any sense to me. Imagine you'd call someone with the flu and they told you they're sick too. You'd probably think you're bothering them or worry about them, you'd most probably not feel like it's nice you're sharing this experience with one of your friends...

I'd listen and talk to the friend, show some compassion. Being sick in bed can be lonely, having a few minutes of talking to somebody sounds like a nice thing in that situation.

Btw, when you repeat the exact words of somebody back, it's usually called parroting. It can be irritating to some people, others feel like the person repeating is listening attentively and it can be sort of comforting.

I would not lie about having the flu, i'd try and help if i could.

[toomanycats]

Nnnno....

[seeker33]

No, this sounds ridiculous.

[SlumberKitty]

No, I wouldn't lie about having the flu. I would just try to be comforting to my friend.

[healingme4me]

I'd tell your daughter's friend to recheck her notes or reevaluate the method of the professor. Maybe consolation is, I too, have 'had' the flu and know how terrible it feels?? :\

[eskielover]

I would definitely question what EXACT part of her psych 101 class said to do something like that. Sounds like a misunderstanding but if not she needs to know that is incorrect psych knowledge or application. I would do it in a nice way that would make her look it up & research the validity of what she said. If she would like further discussion with you on this topic It would be good for her.

[divine1966]

That’s insane. So if someone calls me that they broke their leg, I should tell them I broke mine too? What am I going to say if they see me outside walking the very next day. This girl likely not a stellar student in that class she is taking

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Cara8tz

My daughter and her friend were over tonight when my girlfriend called. My girlfriend is down with the flu and needed some consolation. My daughter's friend told me she learned some techniques in her psych class 101 and advised me to tell my friend that I too had the flu and I was nauseous, with fever, etc. This sounded strange to me because 1) I don't have the flu and 2) why would I lie to my friend saying I had it??

My question to anyone out there is, would you lie to your friend and tell her you had the flu to allegedly make her feel better? Would she feel better if I had the flu?

I'm not comfortable lying.

what I find strange is that any psych class would actually recommend any form of deceit as a way of dealing with a situation. Sounds made up bs to me.

empathy works when it's genuine and real but most times feigned empathy can be seen through and would backfire even if you were comfortable with lying.

I wouldn't recommend it either.

[Taylor27]

I would not feel comfortable lying. I find it very strange a psych class would encourage this type of thing, no i not do it.

[MickeyCheeky]

No need to lie; just comfort her and support her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty and empathy. Sending many hugs

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

No need to lie; just comfort her and support her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty and empathy. Sending many hugs

yes this, real support based on the fact that she's your friend will be much more appreciated.

BTW it's just the flu. Not really an issue to take so seriously. we all get sick from time to time and it's not, I'm assuming, life threatening or changing just a week of flu. Idk that you even need to go that far out of your way or anything. I personally dont' expect serious support when I have a cold or flu!