Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 10:11 PM
Anonymous59275
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
My daughter and her friend were over tonight when my girlfriend called. My girlfriend is down with the flu and needed some consolation. My daughter's friend told me she learned some techniques in her psych class 101 and advised me to tell my friend that I too had the flu and I was nauseous, with fever, etc. This sounded strange to me because 1) I don't have the flu and 2) why would I lie to my friend saying I had it??

My question to anyone out there is, would you lie to your friend and tell her you had the flu to allegedly make her feel better? Would she feel better if I had the flu?

I'm not comfortable lying.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky

advertisement
  #2  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 10:19 PM
Elio Elio is offline
...............
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,913
No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
AllHeart, eskielover, MickeyCheeky
  #3  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 11:17 PM
growlycat's Avatar
growlycat growlycat is offline
Therapy Ninja
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
Posts: 10,308
This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is
Hugs from:
Anonymous59275, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
AllHeart, Bill3, Echos Myron redux, eskielover, hvert, MickeyCheeky
  #4  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 11:23 PM
Anonymous59275
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio View Post
No, I would not lie. I would empathize about how awful it is to have the flu and offer whatever appropriate assistance you can give.

I believe being genuine is of more value in supporting your friend than having them think you are in the same boat as them. I have no clue what your daughter's friend learnt. When I was in college and taking those 101 level classes, we didn't learn techniques rather a high level overview of the common theories in psychological development.

I like your response Elio. My daughter's friend may have been working on some report or idea of her own. My own teachings were more like yours. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure my friend would immediately know that I was making it up.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #5  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 11:27 PM
Anonymous59275
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
This sounds like someone misunderstood what mirroring is

Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #6  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 11:41 PM
growlycat's Avatar
growlycat growlycat is offline
Therapy Ninja
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
Posts: 10,308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara8tz View Post
Is mirroring repeating back the same words said to you? Isn't that an odd thing to do to someone? Wouldn't they notice it? I know I would.
She definitely has it wrong!!

Here is the Wikipedia definition as it relates to psychology
Mirroring (psychology - Wikipedia)
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #7  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 11:51 PM
InnerPeace111's Avatar
InnerPeace111 InnerPeace111 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 390
I would not lie.
__________________
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ~Rumi
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #8  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 07:24 AM
ChickenNoodleSoup ChickenNoodleSoup is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,661
No, that doesn't make any sense to me. Imagine you'd call someone with the flu and they told you they're sick too. You'd probably think you're bothering them or worry about them, you'd most probably not feel like it's nice you're sharing this experience with one of your friends...

I'd listen and talk to the friend, show some compassion. Being sick in bed can be lonely, having a few minutes of talking to somebody sounds like a nice thing in that situation.

Btw, when you repeat the exact words of somebody back, it's usually called parroting. It can be irritating to some people, others feel like the person repeating is listening attentively and it can be sort of comforting.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #9  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 07:31 AM
Anonymous32891
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I would not lie about having the flu, i'd try and help if i could.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #10  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 07:33 AM
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
Nnnno....
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #11  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 07:50 AM
seeker33's Avatar
seeker33 seeker33 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
No, this sounds ridiculous.
__________________
Complex trauma
Highly sensitive person

I love nature, simplicity and minimalism
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Echos Myron redux, MickeyCheeky
  #12  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 11:32 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
No, I wouldn't lie about having the flu. I would just try to be comforting to my friend.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #13  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 07:14 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
I'd tell your daughter's friend to recheck her notes or reevaluate the method of the professor. Maybe consolation is, I too, have 'had' the flu and know how terrible it feels?? :\
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
growlycat, MickeyCheeky, seeker33
  #14  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 08:12 PM
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover eskielover is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,072
I would definitely question what EXACT part of her psych 101 class said to do something like that. Sounds like a misunderstanding but if not she needs to know that is incorrect psych knowledge or application. I would do it in a nice way that would make her look it up & research the validity of what she said. If she would like further discussion with you on this topic It would be good for her.
__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
healingme4me, MickeyCheeky, s4ndm4n2006, seeker33
  #15  
Old Dec 13, 2018, 08:49 PM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,208
That’s insane. So if someone calls me that they broke their leg, I should tell them I broke mine too? What am I going to say if they see me outside walking the very next day. This girl likely not a stellar student in that class she is taking
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
eskielover, MickeyCheeky, seeker33
  #16  
Old Dec 14, 2018, 10:41 AM
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara8tz View Post
My daughter and her friend were over tonight when my girlfriend called. My girlfriend is down with the flu and needed some consolation. My daughter's friend told me she learned some techniques in her psych class 101 and advised me to tell my friend that I too had the flu and I was nauseous, with fever, etc. This sounded strange to me because 1) I don't have the flu and 2) why would I lie to my friend saying I had it??

My question to anyone out there is, would you lie to your friend and tell her you had the flu to allegedly make her feel better? Would she feel better if I had the flu?

I'm not comfortable lying.

what I find strange is that any psych class would actually recommend any form of deceit as a way of dealing with a situation. Sounds made up bs to me.

empathy works when it's genuine and real but most times feigned empathy can be seen through and would backfire even if you were comfortable with lying.

I wouldn't recommend it either.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #17  
Old Dec 14, 2018, 11:19 AM
Taylor27's Avatar
Taylor27 Taylor27 is offline
healing from trauma
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,485
I would not feel comfortable lying. I find it very strange a psych class would encourage this type of thing, no i not do it.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #18  
Old Dec 14, 2018, 12:11 PM
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
No need to lie; just comfort her and support her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty and empathy. Sending many hugs
  #19  
Old Dec 14, 2018, 12:39 PM
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
No need to lie; just comfort her and support her. I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty and empathy. Sending many hugs
yes this, real support based on the fact that she's your friend will be much more appreciated.

BTW it's just the flu. Not really an issue to take so seriously. we all get sick from time to time and it's not, I'm assuming, life threatening or changing just a week of flu. Idk that you even need to go that far out of your way or anything. I personally dont' expect serious support when I have a cold or flu!
Reply
Views: 1491

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:02 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.