[superhero]

i am currently in a relationship with someone. but before him, there was this amazing guy. he’s sweet, caring, funny and kind. he has severe depression and anxiety and is very broken with his family. i fell in love with him. he was unsure about how he could handle our relationship and his own mental health so i ended it.
thats when i met my current partner
we have been together for about 4 weeks and he’s sweet, cute, funny and just gosh darn amazing. i think i still have feelings for the other guy...but i’m also in love with my current partner
my view on love: once you truly love someone, you don’t stop. you just gradually drift apart from them.
that’s why i’m fricking worried.
please help me with some advice.

Hi, Welcome to PC.

I'm not sure what your question is exactly? You're not sure if you should return back to your ex? I would say no..... you ended it because he cannot handle a relationship and depression. That's a good reason for it to end. Perhaps you dated someone else too soon if you have feelings for your ex?

I wouldn't go back to your ex because he needs to deal with his own healing first. I would appreciate and maintain your current relationship that is healthy.

[s4ndm4n2006]

If you are truly caught in a place where you're not sure who you should be with, quite honestly you should probably not be with either of them. If you're with someone and considering leaving for another person, then you aren't 100% committed to the person you are with. You should not leave to be with someone based on infatuation, attraction, etc entirely either. You know the previous partner was left for reasons other than feelings, right? So think about this, if it was what you call "love" in the first place why did you leave? By that logic, then why would you go back based on that alone, knowing what you do about your ex?

Relationships are motivated to start by feelings of attraction, infatuation and such but that is not what relationships are built on. True love is not something you feel in your heart but the everyday choice to remain committed and in a relationship in spite of feelings that may come and go over time.

take time to think about this and if you cannot forsake the old lover then leave the one you have and don't get in a relationship until you can be 100% committed.

[Blogwriter]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

If you are truly caught in a place where you're not sure who you should be with, quite honestly you should probably not be with either of them. If you're with someone and considering leaving for another person, then you aren't 100% committed to the person you are with. You should not leave to be with someone based on infatuation, attraction, etc entirely either. You know the previous partner was left for reasons other than feelings, right? So think about this, if it was what you call "love" in the first place why did you leave? By that logic, then why would you go back based on that alone, knowing what you do about your ex?

Relationships are motivated to start by feelings of attraction, infatuation and such but that is not what relationships are built on. True love is not something you feel in your heart but the everyday choice to remain committed and in a relationship in spite of feelings that may come and go over time.

take time to think about this and if you cannot forsake the old lover then leave the one you have and don't get in a relationship until you can be 100% committed.

Hi Superhero,

I basically agree with s4ndm4n that you should not be in a relationship with either man. I do understand, however, why you broke up with the first man. Is the first man getting help for his depression? If so, please give him some space. It sounds like you hooked up with the second man too quickly. I would let the second man know you are not ready for a relationship right now. It would be better to let him know now than to string him along. Then you will have time to either heal from breaking up with the first man or pursue a friendship with him while he is healing.

[ElizabethLivingston]

Yeah, I agree with you golden-eve.