[rdgrad15]

Anyone know someone that acts a certain way towards people, usually treating others in a poor way but then if the person sees someone else doing the exact same thing, especially to them, they hate it? I feel like this is a sign that they hate themselves for acting the same way so they get mad at anyone who acts they way they do. For example, I know someone that ignores others if they are mad at them or just feels like avoiding them but also gets mad and considers the person rude if someone else is doing the same thing to them.

Another time, someone was acting very depressed and I wanted to make sure the casual friend was doing okay. In return, she called me very clingy. I didn't hang out with her much but she would constantly send me alarming text messages and couldn't understand why I would get very anxious and check up on her. Yet at one point, she got extremely mad at her best friend for postponing plans to hang out by an hour or two because her best friend wanted to support another friend at a funeral who lost a family member. I told the casual friend that she has the right to support another friend at a funeral and that she will still get to hang out.

The casual friend did not accept that and said she was mad because her best friend promised she would hang out with her and felt she had no right to go to the viewing for an hour or two to support a friend. They eventually did get to hang out, just an hour or two later than originally planned. Also she gets mad at others for not always listening to her or telling her as it is, yet she thinks it is okay for her to do that to others. I also know someone who likes to complain a lot, excessively. Yet, she ended a recent friendship with someone who complained too, no as much as she did but just enough for the friendship to end.

Also I've seen people be brutally honest with others to the point of being rude and thinks there is nothing wrong with that. Yet they would get mad if others did that to them. In all of these examples, plus other situations, makes me think that people just hate seeing their own flaws in others. Anyone know people who do that? In what situations have you seen someone do that? How do you deal with people like that? I feel like people who do this not only just secretly hate themselves, but also may even think it is okay for them to do stuff to others but others are not allowed to do it to them. Basically a sense of entitlement. Just wondered.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

I feel like people who do this not only just secretly hate themselves, but also may even think it is okay for them to do stuff to others but others are not allowed to do it to them. Basically a sense of entitlement.

I have been guilty of some of the kinds of things you have mentioned, but I have never "hated myself" and neither did I have any sense of entitlement. At the time I was simply unaware of a pointed finger leaving three pointed back at me while being critical of others.

[Sunflower123]

I agree.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I agree.

Yeah it can be annoying.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by leejosepho

I have been guilty of some of the kinds of things you have mentioned, but I have never "hated myself" and neither did I have any sense of entitlement. At the time I was simply unaware of a pointed finger leaving three pointed back at me while being critical of others.

Yeah I can see how that could happen too. Everyone is guilty of doing something hypocritical from time to time. It just becomes a problem when the person knows they are being hypocritical but doesn’t care and feels that they are allowed to act a certain way or do a certain thing while others are not.

I think you’ve made a good observation. It’s a good idea to reflect on why certain behaviors are bothering you. It could be your own issues and you’re not wanting to see it. I’m certain I’ve done it many times and I’m certain the lessons will keep presenting themselves to me until I learn them.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

I think you’ve made a good observation. It’s a good idea to reflect on why certain behaviors are bothering you. It could be your own issues and you’re not wanting to see it. I’m certain I’ve done it many times and I’m certain the lessons will keep presenting themselves to me until I learn them.

Yeah it is common among people to do that. They will keep on seeing their own behaviors they dislike about themseleves in others until those behaviors are rectified.

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, that happens quite often, rdgrad15. I believe it may be seen as a form of insecurity or denial. But I'm not sure, it's just an assumption. But yes, I do understand how that could be annoying. Perhaps you could make them notice this if it does happen again. This is just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. Sending many hugs to you

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Yeah, that happens quite often, rdgrad15. I believe it may be seen as a form of insecurity or denial. But I'm not sure, it's just an assumption. But yes, I do understand how that could be annoying. Perhaps you could make them notice this if it does happen again. This is just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. Sending many hugs to you

Totally agree. Yeah it is definitely from a form of insecurity, denial, and maybe even a sense of entitlement since they may think they are allowed to act a certain way but no one else can. Unfortunately telling them about their behavior doesn't really work. In most cases, from experience, they don't change and don't really care too.