[DazedandConfused254]

I’ve become rather pleased with my height, I’ve been around 6’ 1” since starting college so I’m officially several inches above the average height for a dude. In my everyday surroundings I frequently seem to tower over most people I know both in my close friends/family circle and with others in my surroundings. Being taller is easier on body composition and leaves a pretty good first impression in the workforce. But in my futile attempts bonding with members of the opposite gender, I am quite pessimistic because most women thus far have put me at a distance. My anxious, self-esteem lacking mind often reinforces that women form friendships based on superficial traits, like those who are the most popular and highest social-ranking men with washboard abs and in the case for this thread, those who are even taller.

What do you think? Is a person’s height a real determination of a solid first impression in romance and other aspects of life? Or is it just a superficial trait?

Superficial. Initially, I find tall or well-built man attractive because I feel like he can protect me. But once that man and I start talking, all I am looking for is what is in his character. I think initial attraction is what makes someone approach you, and your character is what makes her keep talking to you. Good luck!

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by ennie

Superficial. Initially, I find tall or well-built man attractive because I feel like he can protect me. But once that man and I start talking, all I am looking for is what is in his character. I think initial attraction is what makes someone approach you, and your character is what makes her keep talking to you. Good luck!

Thanks for your reply! This is really encouraging and helpful. I 100% agree with you!

[s4ndm4n2006]

sometimes It can be and just depends on the woman you meet. some of them will prefer a certain height and others will not care one way or another.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, DazedandConfused254 I believe the height of a person can definitely make a first impression on some people. However, I'd say it stop there. Once you start talking to that person, there are many other more important factors to consider. I'd say its importance is limited. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just try to do your best. Be yourself. Be honest. That's all you can do after all. That's the best first impression that you can make, I believe. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[divine1966]

Height means nothing in relationships. It means a lot if you join basketball team. Don’t focus on superficial things. If women put you at a distance, it’s not the height.

[DazedandConfused254]

Thank you @MickeyCheeky and @divine1966!!! I guess stopping knowledge of a person at physical characteristics is materialistic, since everybody has a unique character and story to tell. Using good ole empathy, I also understand many women's insecurities over their appearances, as people are worth far more than their physical characteristics. But as for me I watch too many sports and idolize my favorite baseball and basketball athletes too much

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254

Thank you @MickeyCheeky and @divine1966!!! I guess stopping knowledge of a person at physical characteristics is materialistic, since everybody has a unique character and story to tell. Using good ole empathy, I also understand many women's insecurities over their appearances, as people are worth far more than their physical characteristics. But as for me I watch too many sports and idolize my favorite baseball and basketball athletes too much

yeah if they are going to reject you for your height, is that even someone you'd want to be with even if you met their qualifications? Surely if they are that quick to write someone off it's a reflection of how they deal with much of their life choices.

[DazedandConfused254]

Oh heavens no lol If someone is that superficial on things like height, weight, etc, they probably project that mentality onto other trivial matters also.

I am short. but I am confident. I don't think that my height (or lack of it) makes a difference. it doesn't to me. if it bothers someone else, then it is THEIR issue, not mine. my personality is fine, I am funny, willing to try new things, new foods etc. nothing that I do is impacted by my height..except maybe dun king a basketball..but hey plenty of taller folks can't master that either. don't worry about your height. be you. embrace it. if someone doesn't like it, it's their issue.

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by resurgam

I am short. but I am confident. I don't think that my height (or lack of it) makes a difference. it doesn't to me. if it bothers someone else, then it is THEIR issue, not mine. my personality is fine, I am funny, willing to try new things, new foods etc. nothing that I do is impacted by my height..except maybe dun king a basketball..but hey plenty of taller folks can't master that either. don't worry about your height. be you. embrace it. if someone doesn't like it, it's their issue.

That's good to know, thank you. I think that's wonderful that you got a strong sense of self and won't change for anybody else based on very basic traits.

You are right about basketball being a sport that only a select few can play! I can't shoot very well either unless I'm right on the basket. But if you are into sports and want inspiration for practicing dunks, check out the shortest NBA player of all time, Muggsy Bogues! Even at 5' 3", he was a sneaky defender and was very accurate with his dunks!

I read an article/studies that said being tall may give men an advantage at work. And then there is this article: Standing tall pays off, study finds
However, I think confidence/competence/fitness (attention to your appearance) is more important/attractive.

[Bill3]

My anxious, self-esteem lacking mind often reinforces that women form friendships based on superficial traits, like those who are the most popular and highest social-ranking men with washboard abs and in the case for this thread, those who are even taller.

How do you respond to these thoughts?

[DazedandConfused254]

NowinnersThanks for sharing! I have actually seen this article in different versions before but it is always an interesting read.

Bill3: Good question. My internal coping strategies against emotions still need work but I've responded to them with counseling and surrounding myself with members of my support group (my best friends, parents, extended family, you guys on PC). Reaching out pretty much always works so I can get a breath of fresh air and be more comfortable being myself. Unfortunately though, I'm constantly feeling tested because of people showing off their relationships on SM and a prevailing stigma against singles where I live.

[WishfulThinker66]

I am inclined to say this is superficial but I am actually not so sure. I have a daughter who is six feet tall - and she has a hard time finding men who seem not to be put off by her size. She is a very attractive woman now but her height apparently shies many men off. The impression she has is that they feel intimidated. Thankfully someone wonderful out there finally appreciates her and he is six foot eight. Imagine how hard it has been. It was bad enough in her 20s and 30s, but the dear girl reached this height before her twelfth birthday.

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

I am inclined to say this is superficial but I am actually not so sure. I have a daughter who is six feet tall - and she has a hard time finding men who seem not to be put off by her size. She is a very attractive woman now but her height apparently shies many men off. The impression she has is that they feel intimidated. Thankfully someone wonderful out there finally appreciates her and he is six foot eight. Imagine how hard it has been. It was bad enough in her 20s and 30s, but the dear girl reached this height before her twelfth birthday.

Sorry to hear about her struggles until now. It's was saddening to read the first part because I actually think tall women are just lovely! Some of my favorite celebs (Taylor Swift, Giselle Bundchen) out there are pushing 6 feet. I can definitely imagine how hard it has been for your daughter, especially with society living in the old traditions for guys to look for women shorter than them. If I met her IRL we would see eye to eye, or something like it anyways. But I am happy that she is finally getting proper recognition as a unique person, and not just a tall woman.

[Medusax]

Tall and thin is nice. Short and chubby is also nice. Tall and chubby is nice. Short and thin is nice. it all depends on the person. I have dated all these types.

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by Medusax

Tall and thin is nice. Short and chubby is also nice. Tall and chubby is nice. Short and thin is nice. it all depends on the person. I have dated all these types.

Love your open mind!