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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,403
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Feb 24, 2019 at 12:57 PM
#1
There was a post in another thread where, I think, someone questioned the idea of “toxic people” ....
I’ve had people calling me ugly names, playing “hate” games etc etc... in response to a simple request I made to change the topic of conversation. To me, that behaviour is toxic. I was brought up by Narcissists with no respect or care for me. They violated me and my boundaries.. repeatedly. I try to gently state a boundary.... Does this make ME a “toxic person”   (I am not suggesting anyone here is a “toxic person”..) __________________ 
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 Anonymous40643, Anonymous43949, Anonymous57363, hvert, MickeyCheeky, Rohag, Travelinglady
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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Feb 24, 2019 at 01:06 PM
#2
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Fuzzybear
 You're not a toxic person. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're a wonderful person who didn't receive the love she needed and deserved. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to be treated this way. I hope you'll be able to find happiness and peace. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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| Anonymous57363, Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Feb 24, 2019 at 02:13 PM
#3
Fuzzy dearest, NO. Stating a boundary and asking calmly that it be respected is not a "toxic" behaviour.
It's a healthy one, imo. Hugs. xo, Chyia |
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| Anonymous40643, Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Perpetually Pondering
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Feb 24, 2019 at 07:12 PM
#4
No it doesn't make you the toxic person in this scenario. They needed to apologize and change the topic.
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| Anonymous40643, Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
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Feb 24, 2019 at 07:35 PM
#5
Definitely not. It sounds like you're trying to protect yourself by setting boundaries.
 
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| Anonymous40643, Fuzzybear
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Chyialee, Fuzzybear
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
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Feb 24, 2019 at 11:06 PM
#6
Fuzzybear, my point in that thread was not to invalidate you. That was not my intent. I just meant the age old adage of hurt people hurt people.
If someone is bad for you, i.e. toxic, then they are. You are a kind and caring person. __________________  What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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| Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Feb 25, 2019 at 01:24 AM
#7
Hello Fuzzybear,
in my impression you send out a lot of safe love on PC and I thank you for it  I realize that the term "toxic" is now in common use in society but I don't use it myself. It reminds me of the phrase "toxic waste" and I'm not comfortable describing any human that way. Though I understand that "toxic" is used in lots of different ways for different reasons. Someone mentioned toxic behaviors. I think that use would sit better with me than "toxic person." Has anyone else noticed that some (not all) of the people shouting loudest about "horrible toxic people" are actually snide and rude themselves? An interesting phenomenon I noticed. That said, no you are not toxic. You are a warm and kind bear who has been hurt in this world. Like many of us. I wish you peace, joy, and unconditional safe love. Be good and kind to yourself. You deserve it!
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| Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear, seesaw
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Feb 25, 2019 at 07:37 AM
#8
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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| Fuzzybear
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Chyialee
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Feb 27, 2019 at 12:36 AM
#9
Quote:
It even seems that "gentle" doesn't work on some people; they need to be told firmly about boundaries. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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