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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280
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#1
Considering my own parents would be frustrated at me for calling just to say hi and not having a real reason to call, I don't know if saying hi, what's up? to someone I haven't talked to in a while is appropriate or not. How do you initiate contact with someone? The only person I feel able to initiate contact with is my ex because he hasn't seemed to mind me saying hi for the sake of saying hi either during the relationship or afterward. How do you stay in contact with people? You're not supposed to ever need anything from anyone else, but then there's no other reason to talk to anyone because you have to have a specific reason to do so or you're just wasting their time I guess.
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Anonymous43949, Anonymous49426
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
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#2
Well my problem is when people phone me - then don't say anything expecting me to start the conversation. Nothing like picking up the phone, seeing who it is, saying 'hello' and then nothing but a cavernous empty void. Say something when I pick the phone up - even if it is just to say, "Hey! I was just thinking about you and it was time I should say hi." That at least is a start.
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Anonymous43949
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#3
Quote:
As far as staying in contact with people, you can try the following: -Pick up where you left off from the last conversation and ask how it went. For example, if someone told you he has an exam, ask, "So how did your exam go?" -If you haven't seen the person in a while, say you called to "catch up" to see how things are going, or that that person came to your mind. -Ask when they want to hang out next time, or invite them to hang out. Ex. "I'm going for a bike ride, you want to come along?" "Do you want to get together for coffee sometime?" -Talk about a shared hobby or interest. "Hey, did you see the album came out this week?" etc. |
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Skull&Crossbones, WishfulThinker66
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Member Since Jul 2014
Location: limbo
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#4
Quote:
this caught my eye and piqued my curiosity: Quote:
I'm curious as to what you base this idea on, where it came from that you think you're never supposed to need anything from anyone else. That's what being friends and family is all about, having someone to support us and we can lean on them from time to time and they willingly give us the support we need. |
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WishfulThinker66
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280
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#5
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Although, if I ever date again, I don't think I will ask for emotional support. Most people are incapable of providing and eventually make me feel bad for asking...and anyone capable is married so I can't really ask for emotional support from them. So I guess the trick is never needing emotional support. Even after the good suggestions, I'm still unsure if I should contact her or exactly what I'd say. I've been trying to figure it out for months. |
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Anonymous43949
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#6
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You really deserve good friends. The thing about people with families is that their first obligation is their families and they are often busy with them. I think the trick is to eventually find a single friend who are capable of providing emotional support. It takes time, but I'm wishing you the best! |
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luvyrself
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#7
Thats why theres facebook? I have a cousin in law who posts what she makes for dinner every night. It makes me feel good to know that! Like im having dinner with my cousin whenever i look!
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WishfulThinker66
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280
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#8
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I know most people’s first obligation is to family. That’s why I often wish I had a significant other. Not like I would expect to be first obligation, I mean that would go to their real family, pets, real best friend, job...hopefully I would at least rank higher than at least some of their friends and have someone to go places with etc. I would at least have someone I could make first priority so I wouldn’t have to take on all the overtime. I don’t think I should be friends with single people...if they actually provided me with emotional support I would just fall in love with them and get my heart broken. |
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Anonymous43949, unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,088
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#9
Im all in AT FIRST, but then the worm turns (what DOES that mean?!) and i realize i committed too much too fast. Steve Harvey says dont sleep with someone until at least 90 days, and i say, you dont even know if you want to be friends with someone until at least 90 days. But who even sticks around that long these days? Except maybe online?
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Anonymous43949
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#10
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280
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#11
It probably is the best option, but it does get tiring competing with pets, friends, and family to be important to someone. It’s humiliating when they make you feel guilty spending time with them because they’re worried their pet is lonely. I can understand job obligations have to come first sometimes, but is it even possible to be the most important person in someone’s life? Is it possible to be more important than pets even? Do I have to find someone with no pets in order to be a bigger part of their life?
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Anonymous43949
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