[Fuzzybear]

I recently went to a social event which caused me some distress... since some of the people there seemed (were) very judgmental.

This has got me thinking.. do you look for people’s strengths and value everyone’s individuality or do you lump people together into categories which may not be accurate and certainly aren’t helpful to the person.

Peace and harmony to all here

Hi Fuzzybear. Sorry to hear you were judged.
I do look at people's strengths and values individually. I don't like to be stereotyped for my culture, for example. I also don't like to be stereotyped for my gender. I think people should look at your strengths as an individual.

I see individuality. That said, I tend to gravitate to the more quiet types. It doesn’t matter what the culture or social standing or whatnot is. I just feel more comfortable with quiet people like myself.

[WishfulThinker66]

Yes Fuzzybear I try to. I have a much easier time seeing the positive and potential in a person when I am actually engaging them face to face. I make an effort to look past the surface differences to see the person within. Part of why I make such an effort to do so is that I fear judgement in myself.

I really like the idea of looking for other peoples strengths. Especially people who may be difficult for us to deal with, or someone we've had conflict with. We are all so complex. We have faults and strengths for sure. This post is a good reminder for me to look for these things. I know sometimes people call fall into the grumbles about others. It seems naturally human to me. But that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry you had that experience Fuzzy, and thanks for the reminder. That's a good skill / habit to acquire.

[Mopey]

I do now.

I'm extremely critical by nature, so used to be aware right away of people's shortcomings, especially if I took an immediate dislike to them.

However, age has mellowed me and caused me to realize that if I wait long enough and keep my judgements to myself (which I've learned to do anyway), eventually something about the person will surface that I will like.

I also know how painful and demoralizing it is to be judged and found wanting myself, so really don't want to lay those things on other people.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I recently went to a social event which caused me some distress... since some of the people there seemed (were) very judgmental.

This has got me thinking.. do you look for people’s strengths and value everyone’s individuality or do you lump people together into categories which may not be accurate and certainly aren’t helpful to the person.

Peace and harmony to all here

Generally speaking I am one to try to fight the temptation to lump people into groups, though with that being said, there are times when it is appropriate. What I mean is I think that most of us do this from time to time it's just when you generalize to the point of stereotyping that it becomes a problem. I won't elaborate but even where such things as statistical knowledge applies with regards to people, they are just generalities that show trends, not a fixed rule that applies to every person that falls into that group. The problem is some people rely on such "trends" as a way of just generalizing.

There are things about me being a male and fitting into certain groups which apply, but at the same time there are always exceptions to the rules and though we may fall into general trends it goes without saying that in the majority of ways we are individuals and distinct.

I try to remain cognizant of the individual's aspects in every way but I will confess I'm sure there have been more than a few times where I've fallen into the temptation and lumped people too.

I won't be the one to cast the first stone about this. I do think many do fail sometimes in this area

[healingme4me]

I think that I do value individualities. If someone chooses to be a *bleep* it's them that has to live with themselves at the end of the day. They must be very unhappy? Or very sheltered and naive?