[Alex86]

When I was in elementary school and junior high school during the 90s I was always really social and popular, and hung out with friends and had several admirers and all of that.
Then I started at a new school when I entered secondary school (which we do at age 16 where I live), which made me lose contact with a lot of people who I used to hang out with, and then from there on I have gradually started to become more and more alone at all other schools I have been to.
I currently study at a university several hundred miles away from home, and while I do still occasionally hang out with a couple friends from my junior high school days, it does feel pretty tiresome to always be alone for an extended amount of time at my current university.
My classmates initially seemed to like me and approach me a lot, but I have been feeling really anxious when new people have approach me for the last several years since I always feel like I might say or do something that will make them stop liking me, so I was very careful around them and pretty much only talked to them when they had approached me, and they eventually seemed to get a bit intimidated by me and stopped approaching me, and now we mostly study different courses, so I don't meet them that much anymore (except 2-3 students in one of my current courses, and I sometimes catch them glancing at me with some kind of curious and confused expression).

It's very annoying to always feel alone like this, especially when I used to be the complete opposite - I feel like I am actually very close to my old personality since I can easily act that way when I have an actual excuse to talk to people, like in study groups or during presentations or things like that (I actually enjoy speaking in front of people, I am definitely my old self in those situations, and some people seem blown away by that).

Is there any good way to break out of this rut in small steps?
I have considered going to some party at the university some weekend, but I am not sure what to do there.

[healingme4me]

I don't know if this tidbit about my life is useful or not, but it's the university years that I don't find that I have anywhere near close to the bonds with some that came prior or some that came after. Maybe it's not you, but the nature of those higher pressure years?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Alex: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the social anxiety forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/soci...ective-mutism/

You might also check out the school & study issues forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/scho...-study-issues/

I'm sorry I don't think there is anything in particular I can suggest here. Hopefully there will be some other members who will have some suggestions they can offer. In the meantime, however, here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help, the first by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D.:

Social Anxiety Overview

6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety

Overcoming Social Anxiety the Alchemist's Way | NLP Discoveries

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-soci...ocial-anxiety/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.