Am I "mollycoddling"/pestering?

eclairparty98 · Apr 19, 2019 at 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

if you broke up with him, I imagine there are or were other deeper issues going to but in relation to the incident, it seems to me that you were being considerate of him and there's nothing wrong in that.

What went wrong? He was irritable, moody and wasn't very good at handling being tired and took it out on you, there really isn't anything deeper going on there.

True, there are plenty of problems unrelated to the incident which could have influenced him snapping at me over something like this - I haven't spoken to him since I left to go home and I really don't want to, he was so aggressive. I really want to break up with him but I really do not want to contact him, the thought makes me physically sick with anxiety, especially since I've already tried it before but failed

but considerate is one thing I always aim to be, I'm so pleased to know someone else sees my concern in that way

Even if he's tired, I cannot understand how he felt like it was okay to take it out on me like that, I'm so confused. Thank you for your response!

s4ndm4n2006 · Apr 19, 2019 at 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclairparty98

True, there are plenty of problems unrelated to the incident which could have influenced him snapping at me over something like this - I haven't spoken to him since I left to go home and I really don't want to, he was so aggressive. I really want to break up with him but I really do not want to contact him, the thought makes me physically sick with anxiety, especially since I've already tried it before but failed

but considerate is one thing I always aim to be, I'm so pleased to know someone else sees my concern in that way

Even if he's tired, I cannot understand how he felt like it was okay to take it out on me like that, I'm so confused. Thank you for your response!

The sooner you break it off with him the sooner this is over and you dont' have to have anxiety over having to deal with him. Think about it, if someone you're supposed to be enjoying time with causes this much anguish, what does that say about the relationship? here's the thing, either you break it off and face the momentary anguish of having to deal with him to end it or face having to deal with the anxiety of worrying about his reaction perpetually until you do. which seems better to you? One has an actual end to it and the other doesn't.

eclairparty98 · Apr 20, 2019 at 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

The sooner you break it off with him the sooner this is over and you dont' have to have anxiety over having to deal with him. Think about it, if someone you're supposed to be enjoying time with causes this much anguish, what does that say about the relationship? here's the thing, either you break it off and face the momentary anguish of having to deal with him to end it or face having to deal with the anxiety of worrying about his reaction perpetually until you do. which seems better to you? One has an actual end to it and the other doesn't.

It says a lot about our relationship, that it's a bad one - I'm aware of that, I've already checked out because I can't bring myself to go any further with him. I'm no longer happy with him. I'll admit that I should have left him for good when I first tried to break up with him. But should have, could have, would have - a lesson learned , I hope

this is my first time being with someone who made me feel truly unhappy and disrespected. It's like dating your bully. I thought I could positively influence him, I shouldn't have and I'll know that for future reference, I hope.

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