[Chocopiano27]

I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now. We meet once in every two months. I've liked this guy for over 7 years.

I'm quite sensitive and actually quite needy (maybe cuz i was left by an important figure early in life), but I don't wanna be an annoyance to him so I always thrive to be independent and always do things to self heal (which currently it already becomes a habit). But the hope for him to be 'there' for me never really disappears.
I sometimes get mood swings but always keep it to myself, sometimes it burst and I called my boyfriend, he really helped me a lot and able to calm me down. He always reassure me that whatever happens I should just contact him, so i kept his words. He was very warm and positive.

These past months things feel quite different. He has his own world, he's so into his business and college activities, and has been really busy with his works and friends. He sometimes even forgets to reply my text, and whenever i can call he's suddenly went asleep. Well he's not really a text person, but he's always on phone for instagram. I don't know.. I feel lonely, i guess? Sometimes i feel like not having a boyfriend at all. I often go out and have fun with my friends but yeah.. I still feel like there's something 'wrong' between me and my boyfriend. No matter how lovely and warm he is when we meet in person, I feel like something isn't right when we're far apart.

The thing is, he still comes to my town even more often than before. And he stays here longer than before. It took him 8 hours of train to get here, and it's not a very comfortable train either. I can't ignore his effort and I can't stop thinking that he still really loves me.

This relationship is lovely, yet his ignorant character is actually hurting me slowly and deeply every time, even more now than before. I feel even more lonely (and actually got used to it). But whenever I just want to talk to him it's like he's never really 'there'.. I've talked about this with him but he himself didn't feel like there's any problem, or said that he feels burdened and gets quite emotional if he's not productive even for a day. I guess I'm the one at fault? I don't want to be a hinder for his success.

But. Really, it feels wrong, what should I do? What is it that I'm feeling.

Does it matter who is at fault? Are you happy? Is this relationship working for you? Would you get more out of a relationship with someone you can see all the time versus every few months?

[Chocopiano27]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Does it matter who is at fault? Are you happy? Is this relationship working for you? Would you get more out of a relationship with someone you can see all the time versus every few months?

I don't know.. I feel really happy when he's 'there', but that happens rarely. Usually only when we meet in person. Right now I often don't know how he's doing, I don't know whether he's okay or not, sometimes I don't even know what he does all day. I know he's very busy, but that's it. The last time he told me he was actually the head of an activity was when he's angry and burst out to me.

All i know is i have to chill and keep calm because for him, there are no problem. And yeah when we meet in person he became that warm lovely person again. Other times, I feel very sad and lonely. I'm at loss

I am not a fan of long distant relationships. Too many things can go wrong. I've tried them, and they don't work for me.

If your intuition tells you something about your relationship is 'off' and your boyfriend ignores your concerns when you talk to him, that tells you something about his true investment in your relationship.