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Folder icon Is it okay to date someone you aren't attracted to?

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divine1966
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Default May 16, 2019 at 12:33 AM
  #1
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Originally Posted by mattdadd View Post
He's the only person I've ever felt comfortable with when it comes to physical contact. I don't hug and kiss family because I never got used to it, and being touched made me recoil. But with my S/O, it all feels very natural and enjoyable. Holding hands and hugging is easy for me to do with him, and I've gotten better with kissing (to the point where he doesn't need to take the lead as much anymore).
But see from what you described it sounds that you are attracted to him, physical closeness with him is natural for you. You just don’t feel sexual desire and do not find him attractive, which is not the same as not having physical attraction.

Do you ever feel sexually aroused in general, not in relation to this guy? If not, then it has nothing really to do with how attracted you are to this particular person.

You are kind of addressing two issues on this thread, which are somewhat unrelated. One is you in general aren’t interested in sex with anyone. Second is you not finding your partner attractive, not liking his looks.
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mattdadd
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Default May 16, 2019 at 09:01 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Do you ever feel sexually aroused in general, not in relation to this guy? If not, then it has nothing really to do with how attracted you are to this particular person.

You are kind of addressing two issues on this thread, which are somewhat unrelated. One is you in general aren’t interested in sex with anyone. Second is you not finding your partner attractive, not liking his looks.
No, I never feel sexually aroused. Also, my (original) issue was only about not liking his looks. Me not being interested in sex just got brought up along the way. The latter isn't a huge deal for me though since my S/O and I have talked about it multiple times.
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