[WishfulThinker66]

I have been experiencing lately people who don't take me or my diagnosis seriously - especially right now that I am relatively stabil, active, and appear to be finding some enjoyment in life.

Seeing me in my present state makes them assume that I am either not sick at all, never was, or am cured. They don't seem to realise that periods of stability tend not to last and are usually accompanied by an inevitable crash.

People are seeing me these days spending a great deal of time being active and right now rather happy. They mistakenly assume I am ready to return to work. Indeed, several have told me I should be doing so. Frustrating. They don't realise that work is a major trigger (I live with PTSD too). They also don't realise that being bipolar means I live with a tenuous hold on stability and that my mood can turn on a dime. Just because today I am capable of holding my head up high with confidence doesn't mean that is a permanent situation. It also doesn't mean that confidence extends to all areas of my life these days.

Even thinking about work is a trigger to the negative. I get anxious, I get depressed, I get panic. So I throw myself into that which is positive, which gives me the strength to hang on, which gives me a source of joy.

And that is it. Just because I am demonstrating there is joy in my life does not make me a healthy individual.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Wishfulthinker66,

First off, I want you to know that what you are experiencing is quite common; you are not alone.

Who are these people you are referring to? Are they friends, family?

Unfortunately, there is still a TON of stigma around mental health. Even with all the recent mental health awareness agendas, society and people in general seem pressured to judge, categorize, make sense of and label things they do not fully understand. This allows them to feel in control when surrounded by unfamiliar things. Additionally, one of the many flaws in human nature is an inability to fully comprehend and empathize with fellow humans unless we have personally gone through something similar. These things add complexities in understanding and appreciating others anguish; especially when our suffering is internal and seemingly invisible. This amounts to additional issues for both ourselves and others as it adds to the social stigma surrounding mental health.

The other part of the problem (for which you have already alluded), is the idea that mental health conditions are somehow, 'curable.' I know from personal experience that recovery from any mental illness (including PTSD) is non-linear. We can take two steps forward, one step back, or one step forward and two steps back. To the outsider, this repetitive cycle is once again, something that must be labelled, categorized and judged:

- "You're not trying hard enough"
- "You just don't want to heal"
- "You just need more adaquette therapy and treatment"
- "You're just afraid to succeed and or fail"
- "You just need to let the past go and move on"
- "You are ready to move forward"

This is extremely invalidating, abusive and yet I am sure we have all heard it at some point.

This is also a sign that others don't take us seriously. The important thing is to take ourselves seriously.

I know that in my own recovery, there have been moments of growth that my family foolishly misinterpreted as signs that they no longer needed to support me emotionally. It was incredibly invalidating and painful. They also assumed that the moment I got up early in the morning, or managed to get out and see friends, was a sign of a cure and therefore, I no longer required their assistance. What an utter travesty! Exactly these kinds of stressors that bring about full-blown mental health breakdowns.

You know you best; mental health struggles are internal and therefore, no one - not even our therapists can know us more than we do. If we are honest with ourselves and truly want to get better - then we need to listen to ourselves and take ourselves seriously. No amount of trying to get others to understand will change their minds. If they have chosen to label you in this way, fighting it could result in additional traumas / betrayals / invalidation.

I am happy that you are experiencing joy in your life. That is great to hear! But do what you can when you can and remain true to yourself. If you feel you are not ready, go with that intuition. But remember, that sometimes when we are truly ready to go back out into the world - we have become so accustomed to the comfortable - that we refrain from taking the leap.

If this continues forever, we get nowhere.

We should always be striving to become comfortable being uncomfortable; especially with PTSD. Otherwise we risk staying in safety thinking we are healthy, when really we are avoiding the world and creating additional barriers for genuine growth. Some of us require a therapist to hold us accountable in this regard, perhaps you don't.

You know you best, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

I hope this helps,

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[MickeyCheeky]

I hear you, @WishfulThinker66! Unfortunately it happens often! People don't have a very clear idea of what it's like to live with MI and it's often assumed that what we seem like on the outside reflects how we feel on the inside. That's not always true I understand your struggles. Don't let it discourage you though. Keep striving for the Best like you're already doing as you deserve ONLY the Best from Live. Keep fighting! I understrand your frustrations! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, WishfulThinker66, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you and Accept you for who you TRULY are! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING!

[Zevvy]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

This is also a sign that others don't take us seriously. The important thing is to take ourselves seriously.

Yes, HD! Thank you so much for posting this. We know our own mental health and what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

[WishfulThinker66]

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Does it make sense to you all when I say I have been feeling guilty for appearing to be okay these days? To people I appear great right now - great enough I should be functioning well in all areas of life. As mentioned people seem flabbergasted and frankly a little disgusted that I am choosing not to work. They think I am milking the system. It seems they think that if I am not working right now that I should be struggling - and appear ill. They are hostile then at the fact I am finding a measure of happiness. They lay on the guilt trip and I feel it. It is as though I am not allowed to have healthier moments and ups in my life.

Who are these people? Well they are not direct family members. They at least seem supportive and understanding. But the list includes some otherwise close friends that I have had the detach myself from and acquaintanceships. I shouldn't care what these people think or say, should I? But appearances matter to me. I feel guilty and the need to justify myself constantly.

Some really great stuff was said above that rang a chord with me. I rather like the statement that we ought to take ourselves seriously. I will endeavour to try this. Thank you.