It seems to be happening again

Jun 15, 2019 at 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Story of my life Sisabel! Best I can suggest is that you focus on fun hobbies or tasks with your friend. See a movie. Check out an art exhibit or a play. Paint pubs are popular these days. Something where you two share a nice eve but there's no real opportunity for confiding and advice-giving etc.

Someone suggested to me that my issue is the friends I choose. They are needy...seeking help. Maybe you need to step back and see if you can go about choosing strong friends. People who don't need help. People who enjoy life and want to share fun with you.

Maybe that would help??

You and I have had this discussion before. I keep thinking you would be such a nice friend IRL and I would hope that I wouldn’t be needy and inconsiderate of you. Yes, I am working on what you have suggested. I am finding my own interests and spending time with people that way. I’m trying hard not to let my friendships turn into venting sessions.

Jun 15, 2019 at 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sisabel

You and I have had this discussion before. I keep thinking you would be such a nice friend IRL and I would hope that I wouldn’t be needy and inconsiderate of you. Yes, I am working on what you have suggested. I am finding my own interests and spending time with people that way. I’m trying hard not to let my friendships turn into venting sessions.

Easier said than done, right? I keep thinking, when I venture out to make new friends (not quite brave enough yet, had a few losses and disappointments in the last couple of years) what am I actually going to talk about? How long can I maintain a conversation without getting into anything "real?" Know what I mean?

Jun 15, 2019 at 06:44 PM

I believe in you Sisabel! You are making healthy changes. It takes time and there could be a few natural bumps along the way but I think your efforts will pay off for you in time. Also, I want to commend your courage!

I currently lack such courage. Had a trauma not too long ago, friends disappeared, and I put up my walls. I rarely talk to anyone other than my other half and PC folks now. I just mention because I admire your resilience and tenacity. I can't really complain because I gave up on the idea of offline friendship several months ago. I haven't given up forever but I'm being honest that I just don't have the courage or strength to try again now. So, by contrast Sisabel, I think you should really be giving yourself credit for your latest efforts. You can't win if you're not in...as they say

TunedOut · Jun 15, 2019 at 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

I believe in you Sisabel! You are making healthy changes. It takes time and there could be a few natural bumps along the way but I think your efforts will pay off for you in time. Also, I want to commend your courage!

I currently lack such courage. Had a trauma not too long ago, friends disappeared, and I put up my walls. I rarely talk to anyone other than my other half and PC folks now. I just mention because I admire your resilience and tenacity. I can't really complain because I gave up on the idea of offline friendship several months ago. I haven't given up forever but I'm being honest that I just don't have the courage or strength to try again now. So, by contrast Sisabel, I think you should really be giving yourself credit for your latest efforts. You can't win if you're not in...as they say

You seem brave to me SilverTrees, plus you are new on here--you are just warming up, soon you will be spilling your guts like some of the rest of us.

Trying to be funny (but mean what I said though I get predictions wrong sometimes. Hope it worked.

I am sorry about the trauma and friendship problems.

Jun 15, 2019 at 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TunedOut

You seem brave to me SilverTrees, plus you are new on here--you are just warming up, soon you will be spilling your guts like some of the rest of us.

Trying to be funny (but mean what I said though I get predictions wrong sometimes. Hope it worked.

I am sorry about the trauma and friendship problems.

Thank you very much Tuned Out. You have a lovely, nurturing energy about you. I wish you peace, hope, and love

TunedOut · Jun 15, 2019 at 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Easier said than done, right? I keep thinking, when I venture out to make new friends (not quite brave enough yet, had a few losses and disappointments in the last couple of years) what am I actually going to talk about? How long can I maintain a conversation without getting into anything "real?" Know what I mean?

Yes, can be hard when what you are used to talking about is depression, getting triggered by relationships and the like. If you brought that stuff up with a new IRL acquaintence, they might run for the hills.

Jun 15, 2019 at 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Yes, can be hard when what you are used to talking about is depression, getting triggered by relationships and the like. If you brought that stuff up with a new IRL acquaintence, they might run for the hills.

Bahahaha! I actually NEVER talk about depression or PTSD with offline friends. Too risky. I suppose by 'real" I just meant real life...other than small talk. Do you know what I mean?

In the offline world, I am considered an extrovert, a helper, and the life and soul of the party if you can believe that. Didn't get me too far though...from a friendship point of view

Jun 15, 2019 at 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Bahahaha! I actually NEVER talk about depression or PTSD with offline friends. Too risky. I suppose by 'real" I just meant real life...other than small talk. Do you know what I mean?

In the offline world, I am considered an extrovert, a helper, and the life and soul of the party if you can believe that. Didn't get me too far though...from a friendship point of view

I don’t talk about my “stuff” either with anyone anymore. I finally figured out that 99% of friendships are not for talking about issues. I finally came to PC to talk and work things out. I feel there is plenty of give and take here as well. And I’m also likely to get some honest advice which might even hurt my feelings sometimes but that’s the best advice sometimes... versus IRL friends have been known to either tell me what I want to hear or give me advice based on their own personal agenda.

Jun 15, 2019 at 08:58 PM

I don't know if this is thread-appropriate Sisabel but I just opened some dark chocolate. Delicious. If you were here, I'd share with you and listen to your truth. Peace to you

Jun 15, 2019 at 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

I don't know if this is thread-appropriate Sisabel but I just opened some dark chocolate. Delicious. If you were here, I'd share with you and listen to your truth. Peace to you

I love dark chocolate!

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

It seems to be happening again

My Support Forums

Anonymous44076 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 15, 2019 at 08:58 PM #9 I don't know if this is thread-appropriate Sisabel but I just opened some dark chocolate. Delicious. If you were here, I'd share with you and listen to your truth. Peace to you
	Reply With Quote