It seems to be happening again

tecomsin · Jun 16, 2019 at 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sisabel

So here’s an idea I have for setting limits and giving myself space. When I find myself frustrated, I can take time away from the person. Maybe just a few days or maybe a few weeks. I’ll need to remember that my red flag is my own frustration and irritation. That’s my cue to retreat for a bit.

This is a very good idea also for me. It's really important to recognize that one's red flags are often how one feels and does not necessitate figuring out another persons intentions. It's about respecting one's own boundaries. I am also getting better at limiting certain types of conversations.

I find it is hard to change a pattern in a friendship once that pattern has been established. It is easier to set limits up front.

TunedOut · Jun 17, 2019 at 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tecomsin

It's really important to recognize that one's red flags are often how one feels and does not necessitate figuring out another persons intentions. It's about respecting one's own boundaries.

I have been having to do this as well so I don't have another breakdown. I have learned a lot about setting boundaries during the past year. Though I know it is necessary for my sanity, I feel guilty about not doing more for people I set the boundaries with. It is easy to walk away from people who you have no (or less intense) emotional ties with but so hard to do when it involves people we really love. Love is so strange because the people I love most are the ones who can hurt me the most--even when they are very good people who care about me.

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It seems to be happening again

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