[Sd021935]

My spouse has self diagnosed self with PTSD, OCD, ADHD...Has past mental health issues. Has chosen to read tons of books about his condition. Treats himself with supplements, essential oils etc. The issue is he talks about his situation to me for hours a day. His treatments, how he feels his negative interactions with people etc. Hates people. Many times vertt emotional. I am at my wit's end listening. He exoexy me to listen and not react. Is this domei incumbent on me to do if is it an unreasonable ask of my spouse? He thinks I am being unreasonable because I find it hard to listen. It's very upsetting to listen. Thanks.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sd: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the partners of people & caregivers forum. Here's a link to that one:

https://psychcentralforums.com/partn...ivers-support/

The short answer to your concern, from my perspective, is that it is reasonable for your spouse to expect you to listen for a reasonable period of time. But hours a day is not a reasonable amount of time. It sounds to me as though your spouse is using you as a substitute for the professional mental health services he needs but is not pursuing. To my mind, this becomes a matter of personal boundaries. Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives that discuss the issue of personal boundaries within relationships:

Why Healthy Relationships Always Have Boundaries & How to Set Boundaries in Yours

How to Build Better Boundaries in Your Marriage

Tips on Setting Boundaries in Enmeshed Relationships

5 Boundaries That Actually Bolster Your Bond in Your Marriage

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...hy-boundaries/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[~Christina]

If your spouse won’t see a professional to find out what is going on, then I suggest you find yourself a Therapist to help you process your feelings and how it’s all effecting you.

Welcome to PC

[Crazy Hitch]

I second Christina’s response.

[hvert]

Listening can be exhausting, even if (especially if?) it is your spouse who you love and want to feel better. I hope you get some relief. Could he post on a forum like this one to find other people to talk to?

[sarahsweets]

He should see a professional before treating himself.

[divine1966]

Self-diagnosing is a pet peeve of mine.

People love to claim that they have PTSD and OCD and ADHD. Those three are favorite ones to claim. People sometimes refuse to accept what they are actually are diagnosed with and assign new diagnosis for themselves. Sure those three sound like less stigma. But if no proper evaluation was done whatsoever, let’s not do this! Sure they can do it at their own leisure but please keep me out of it.

I’d refuse to listen to him unless he obtains proper diagnosis and proper medically supervised treatment.

[Sd021935]

Thank you all for your suggestions and comments.