[Bearlyme]

So I just joined in hope I could find people who arent just going to tell me I'm doing wrong or I shouldn't be with a person.

I've been dating a person for 2 and half years now. We dont have the greatest communication. Nor does my partner have trust in me. When things get hard my instant response is fine we are done. I'm used to losing people I care about so its easier for me to say goodbye. This usually frustrates my partner and they think well I wasn't even loved by them. My partner however refuses to take the break up and we eventually end up back to a normal before it all goes down again.

My partner not only has trust issues but also struggles with letting the past go. Anyone have advice for that? Like I see it take its toll and brings my partner down. It also puts a strain on things.

I know my problem is quickly kicking people away and avoiding conflict. I'm not sure how to work on those. Sometimes I'm not even sure how I feel about people such as love goes. Like I care about them and would do anything for the people I care about. But when it comes to love, I'm not sure. I'm also independent and used to doing things on my own and achieving what I want on my own. If I'm not doing that it's in my nature to take care of people.

My partner cheated on me for the second time. Their reason is because I wasnt showing them attention they needed when I do everything I can or so I thought. I saw that they were cheating too and figured they would stop. Now I'm being blamed for not saying anything when I first saw it. I knew that when I confronted it however I would say we are done and on top of it say other mean things I didnt mean just so they would go away. I dont understand them and want to but at the same time they dont understand me. Can we even make this work if we cant understand each other and we both have bad past?

I let go of my past and I trust easily. I trusted my partner not to do it again and they did it again. My partner brings up my mistakes all the time from the past. Things they haven't forgiven me for and some of those things weren't in my power.

In the end im lost on how I feel. I care about them a lot and want to see them succeed.

[Skeezyks]

Welcome to Psych Central, Bearlyme. The relationships & communication forum, here on PC, is one you may want to check out. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

And then here are links to 11 articles from Psych Central's archives. The first 6 deal with communication (as well as connection) within relationships. The remaining 5 are on the subject of healing from infidelity; the first of these links is to an infidelity-related blog:

9 Steps to Better Communication Today

3 Tips for Better Communication During Difficult Conversations

6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make

The 7 Best Tips for Handling Anger and Resentment in Relationships

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways...e-differently/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/infidelity/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...delity-part-i/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...delity-part-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...delity-part-3/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...delity-part-4/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Bearlyme]

Thank you so much.

[~Christina]

I think you should look into seeing a Therapist. You will be able to look at your relationship and find guidance to understand what a healthy relationship really is