[Oliver Francis]

Hello people!

So I‘m kinda into that girl that I met in early 2019 and we had Sex at that time but I didn’t futher invest into her because she lives 2,5 away from me, she gave signals that she was more into me though.

The turning point now was that she moved to a nearer place for the next 6 months, which made me decide to make a move. I had one date last month with her to ensure I’m still into her, i was really holding back because i didn’t wanted to rush things, I paid for the food anyway.

Now she had birthday and I gave her a kinda over the top present (nothing expensive, rather sweet) where you can read between the lines that I’m into her.
I got a hard rejection, she kinda didn’t wanted the present, didn’t know what to say and even kinda made fun of it and was arrogant in general.

I have to admit that it was risky and my timing was unfortunate.
The thing is, i can deal with a „No“, but making fun of it in a arrogant way really hurt me. I laughed it away in the heat of the moment and acted if it was alright but now after 2 days I’m really angry about it.

I have no problem with my self worth at this point but why do I feel this angry about it? I’m stuck between just let it go and play cool, or text her and tell her that I’m angry. There is this urge to express those negative emotions about the way she handled it, but in what way would that help me?

I am scared that if I approach her with that, that she feels attacked and I just push her further away from me and I am being the one that’s closing the door finally. If I play it cool then i would have to suck everything up but there would be maybe a chance to turn things around in the future, or at least I’m hoping so.

On a side note:
She probably has a father issue that pushes her to perfectionism and arrogance, dealing with someone being really sweet with her is not really comfortable for her (i learned the hard way now). From the little that I know is, that the father didn’t really acknowledge her and kinda left the family when she was 7.

I really need a another opinion on this:
Should I express that I’m angry and disappointed or just not text her again? She didn’t send a sincere apology, in fact no contact since the rejection. And It’s kinda my turn to make a move or not

Thanks in advance!

[Open Eyes]

Honestly Oliver, the behavior you experienced with her showed you how disrespectful she can be. The best thing for you to do is completely distance from her and move on. No point in pursuing someone that can be disrespectful that way. All you will keep experiencing is disappointment, seriously who needs that? Let her go with her bagage don't make her bagage yours.

[sarahsweets]

Im just curious....how do you know she has a father issue? Do you think it played into her reaction?

[divine1966]

Why do you assume she has father issues? And how and why would you consider diagnosing someone after meeting her only twice? You don’t know her enough to assume it yet

I found it curious that you got a birthday gift for someone you only met twice with long break in between. It’s not nice of her to laugh at a gift at all. It’s quite rude regardless if she felt taken aback. But it also depends what was in the gift? Lingerie? What does over the top mean?

[MickeyCheeky]

Well, it seems like she showed he true colors, @Oliver Francis. I COMPLETELY agree with EVERYTHING that the other Wise, Wonderful Posters have already Wisely said BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! I would not engage further if she was you. That was rude, regardless of her motives. I think you deserve better honestly and I wouldn't waste too much time with a person who doesn't seem to Love you back. I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do! I hope you'll be able to find the RIGHT person for you! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Oliver Francis, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!

[divine1966]

I reread your post and see that you gave her a gift that you could read between the lines that you are into her. So it was something of a somewhat intimate nature.

She likely was uncomfortable and maybe laughed out of discomfort and not because she doesn’t like men to be sweet or has daddy issue but likely because gift was quite forward from someone she doesn’t even know. It was clearly not a flower or chocolates (what’s there to laugh about?)

Texting her that you are angry serves no purpose. You don’t know each other. So just move on

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Well, it seems like she showed he true colors, @Oliver Francis. I COMPLETELY agree with EVERYTHING that the other Wise, Wonderful Posters have already Wisely said BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! I would not engage further if she was you. That was rude, regardless of her motives. I think you deserve better honestly and I wouldn't waste too much time with a person who doesn't seem to Love you back. I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do! I hope you'll be able to find the RIGHT person for you! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Oliver Francis, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!

They’ve met twice. One time last winter and one last month. She can’t be expected to love “back” him at all. She doesn’t know him

[eskielover]

which made me decide to make a move. I had one date last month with her to ensure I’m still into her, i was really holding back because i didn’t wanted to rush things, I paid for the food anyway.

Maybe that date reassured her that she is NO LONGER into you but didn't know how to tell you & maybe HOPED you decided the same.....THEN....

You bought her an "over the top" birthday gift without REALLY even knowing how she really felt after that last date.

Sometimes I have had to be rather rude & definitely NOT want to accept a gift from someone I decided was wrong because there was NO WAY I wanted to encourage their feelings at all so being rude is usually a good discouragement.....then they are the ones that decide they don't want to bother & it saves a whole lot of emotional drama

[~Christina]

If someone I saw once before then monthssss later bought me a gift , Birthday gift no less at our next meeting and it be anything but a few flowers I honestly would have refused it and depending on that gift I might place that person in the “ way too soon , maybe creepy” category.

She laughed and you felt she was arrogant?? What did she do that came off as arrogant?

Daddy issues ??? Really ? You don’t know her to make some kind of assumptions.

If on the second “date “ your already arm chair diagnosing her ?? I say let this end right here.

Move on , life is too short.