[Gymgirl71]

Or do you let him..I did spent the entire holiday with this guy so I was with him almost 4 days straight. He mentioned doing dinner tonight and I do realize it’s early.. I texted him in the morning and he hasn’t replied at all.. I don’t know if I should assume he is hungover and go about my day or what. His friend visited from out of town so he was probably out late.

[divine1966]

Hungover? Is that the same guy with drinking problem? Id say if it’s him, then nothing good will come out of it.

If it’s a new guy then I’d say if you texted in the morning, and he didn’t reply, he wasn’t really planning to have dinner. Did you discuss specific location and time or just hypothetical dinner discussion?

Also when was the last time he called or texted you without your initiating?

And when you say you were with him 4 days, do you mean he organized dates and took you out and you did stuff outside with him and him initiating at least 50/50? Or you just went to his house 4 days ago and spent 4 days in his house not leaving and going home and him making no effort to actually date you?

[divine1966]

I also have to add that if the person is already a boyfriend and you spend 4 days together, normally he’d contact you the next day to see how you are.

[Gymgirl71]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Hungover? Is that the same guy with drinking problem? Id say if it’s him, then nothing good will come out of it.

If it’s a new guy then I’d say if you texted in the morning, and he didn’t reply, he wasn’t really planning to have dinner. Did you discuss specific location and time or just hypothetical dinner discussion?

Also when was the last time he called or texted you without your initiating?

And when you say you were with him 4 days, do you mean he organized dates and took you out and you did stuff outside with him and him initiating at least 50/50? Or you just went to his house 4 days ago and spent 4 days in his house not leaving and going home and him making no effort to actually date you?

we spent 4 days some was inside but we also went shopping, family function, etc. I texted him and called him today both which he ignored. The discussion was more hypothetical being we didn’t set a time or anything, but he did ask me to come over..he does initiate texts and calls especially when I just stop.

[divine1966]

Asking you to come over sounds like he doesn’t want to make an effort. Why can’t he pick you up and take you out to a nice restaurant? Stop going to his house. See if he’ll make an effort. If your dating consists of you going to his house, then why would he bother making any effort

If you call and text and he doesn’t reply, there are no serious dinner plans.

People don’t change. He isn’t going to magically become loving attentive boyfriend. It’s not who he is. All you can change is yourself.

[Gymgirl71]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Hungover? Is that the same guy with drinking problem? Id say if it’s him, then nothing good will come out of it.

If it’s a new guy then I’d say if you texted in the morning, and he didn’t reply, he wasn’t really planning to have dinner. Did you discuss specific location and time or just hypothetical dinner discussion?

Also when was the last time he called or texted you without your initiating?

And when you say you were with him 4 days, do you mean he organized dates and took you out and you did stuff outside with him and him initiating at least 50/50? Or you just went to his house 4 days ago and spent 4 days in his house not leaving and going home and him making no effort to actually date you?

Originally Posted by divine1966

Asking you to come over sounds like he doesn’t want to make an effort. Why can’t he pick you up and take you out to a nice restaurant? Stop going to his house. See if he’ll make an effort. If your dating consists of you going to his house, then why would he bother making any effort

If you call and text and he doesn’t reply, there are no serious dinner plans.

People don’t change. He isn’t going to magically become loving attentive boyfriend. It’s not who he is. All you can change is yourself.

what I need to change is to stop accepting these behaviors. Ignore me and then text me a day or two later, like it’s nothing. I suppose me responding isn’t telling him that I am upset. He respects colleagues more than he does me..brings them lunch, etc. Only once I start to stop accepting shabby behavior will I get respect from people.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Gymgirl71

what I need to change is to stop accepting these behaviors. Ignore me and then text me a day or two later, like it’s nothing. I suppose me responding isn’t telling him that I am upset. He respects colleagues more than he does me..brings them lunch, etc. Only once I start to stop accepting shabby behavior will I get respect from people.

You just have to be more selective in who you date. It doesn’t matter if you tell him that you are upset or not. He doesn’t care or he’d not act this way. Just don’t date guys like this. It’s pretty obvious after few dates who is who

[Gymgirl71]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You just have to be more selective in who you date. It doesn’t matter if you tell him that you are upset or not. He doesn’t care or he’d not act this way. Just don’t date guys like this. It’s pretty obvious after few dates who is who

I am going to speak up for myself not for him. He thinks he can ignore me and it’s fine because he will just text me a day later. He doesn’t apologize or anything because he thinks I’m accepting of his behavior. In any case, it doesn’t matter because he might be a good friend, but as a boyfriend he seriously stinks. But even friends do t leave others hanging