My sister-in-law lashed out at me

At a family gathering last Sunday, she had too much to drink. This happens frequently, both her and my brother, "due to stress".

Bit of background here. I'm currently unemployed so have been taking elderly mother to medical appointments, shopping, doing jobs around house, etc. My brother is her favourite because he doesn't answer back when she says something unacceptable.

Anyway, it's just been assumed by family members that I'm now saying I can't cope. Never said that! I'm just mentally tired because of other pressures such as trying to find a job, keep roof over my head, etc.

The problem started when sister-in-law asked me if I wanted some cake to take home, I just said no thanks. That's when she blew and ordered me into another room. I went back into kitchen to get my bag, when she raised her hand. If it hadn't been for other family members restraining her, she would have hit me. I took refuge in my car. Few minutes later, my brother came outside and launched a tirade at me, culminating in telling me to **** off. Apparently, she also lashed out at my elderly mother. All this upset my 14 year old niece, which upset me too. I'm now texting her to check that she's okay.

After a lengthy conversation with other family members, I was allowed to put my point of view. Not looking for any plaudits here but they eventually accepted my point of view.

Too say I'm shaken to the core is an understatement. I'm in no fit state to talk about this incident yet. Not exactly physically shaking but can feel emotional and agitated very easily. My mother's response has moved between you've always been like this (critical of others), not getting involved and pointedly repeating brother's comment that what goes on in his house is nothing to do with anyone else.

Brother rarely picks up the phone to me, leaving it to sister-in-law instead. He says he'll do jobs for my mother, but forgets and finally does them months later. She's been upset by this attitude, but never tells him. Instead she moans at me and her neighbour, who's asked me to have a word. My response was "no way".

If I apologise then its condoning sister-in-law and brother's unacceptable behaviour. My ex and a good male friend advised me years ago to walk away, as they both had with their families. Suppose it's being female, I felt guilty about even considering it. Now I wish I had!