[Gymgirl71]

Hello All:

So, I’m looking for some insight here..I have been single less than 6 months, but I really feel like I settled. I was attracted to him, but I felt like I bent over backwards for him all the time, and he always put me on the back burner. I always knew there was something not quite right with him, and that I should be feeling differently, but I stayed way too long..that being said, I am here to educate myself and stay single for as long as I need to. I settled because I was lonely and he said all the right things...that being said....

• What does it mean to settle in a relationship?
• what are the signs you are settling for less?
Etc etc..

[sarahsweets]

64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do
Read this and try to avoid men like this.

Originally Posted by Gymgirl71

I settled because I was lonely and he said all the right things...

This is one of those "going to the grocery store when you're hungry" kinda things. The best solution, of course, is to have a snack before going to the grocery store. I'm not really sure how you want to apply that analogy to dating, but do whatever it is you need to do to satisfy that desire for affection before going on a date.

[bpcyclist]

I almost married the wrong girl a very long time ago. Oh sure, there were probably a whole bunch of fairly little things that were suboptimal. And one thing I do clearly remember because it surprised me was that my parents and a few friends--not very judgmental people--never really liked her. All the time, there was just this feeling in my gut that something wasn't right. I couldn't really define it. But part of it was that it seemed like she sorta thought she owned me. Like I was property. I didn't like that. Anyway, I called it off and ruined her life. It was def the right thing to do.

The thing I learned from this is--always go with your gut, even if you cannot explain it. Your gut knows.

[Gymgirl71]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I almost married the wrong girl a very long time ago. Oh sure, there were probably a whole bunch of fairly little things that were suboptimal. And one thing I do clearly remember because it surprised me was that my parents and a few friends--not very judgmental people--never really liked her. All the time, there was just this feeling in my gut that something wasn't right. I couldn't really define it. But part of it was that it seemed like she sorta thought she owned me. Like I was property. I didn't like that. Anyway, I called it off and ruined her life. It was def the right thing to do.

The thing I learned from this is--always go with your gut, even if you cannot explain it. Your gut knows.

100% true..I partly blame myself..I fed his ego too much..in the beginning, he would always value me and so happy we met..now he thinks he is all that, and he isn’t. I have plenty to offer the relationship-more than he could ever do. Because he wanted me to fawn over him all the time like he is some great catch and he never ever did anything to make me feel wanted

[TishaBuv]

It’s important to really know who you are. The partner you will do well with, will be similar to and compatible with your qualities.

Then there are the reasons for being with a partner. Do you share the same reasons and goals?