[Mahodson40]

I have been in a relationship with C for just over two years now and last month we got married. A little over a year into our relationship I learned that he was cheating on me with at least four women and that he was a sex addict. C claims he never met with any of them in person and that it was all digital, though I still have my doubts. We separated for a time while he started SAA and the beginnings of his recovery process.
Things started to go well with his recovery so our relationship cautiously started again. He has had a minor slip up, but we talked about it and he talked to his sponsor about it, so we worked through it. Four days after our wedding, I find out from a coworker, T, that C has been talking to a woman he knows for a couple of months. She even sent T some screenshots of their chats as proof. I confronted C and he initially lied about all of it. I had been getting a little suspicious, but chalked it up to insecurity from his past infidelity.
C has come clean and started going to therapy now in addition to SAA, but I am genuinely torn between trying to work through this with the man I love and leaving because of the betrayal and subsequent manipulation to hide his betrayals. Any advice on how to handle this would be much appreciated.

[divine1966]

I’d not stay with anyone who cheats regardless if he is sex addict or just a jerk. There are plenty of nice men out there. I’d file for divorce like yesterday. Also never have unprotected sex with him. I knew someone who got HIV from her own husband, who slept around. I recently found out she passed away, AIDS killed her. No man is worth it

[bpcyclist]

As an expert in the practical aspects of what it is like to be repeatedly cheated upon by repeated women, my view is that it is not actually the sex that is the most damaging facet of infidelity. The sex is just the gasoline. The real damage is the lying. That's the match. Because he is lying about everything. It's what they do.

I am nine years out from my last big cheating scandal. I have to still deal with her because we have a child together. I just talked to her the other day about something inconsequential and when I got off the phone, I immediately said aloud to myself: "She is lying."

She was.

I will be blunt, sorry. Your partner has an illness and you are its victim. The main feature of this illness is nonstop, rampant, out-of-control deception. So, he goes to the grocery store in nine months and comes back 90 minutes later with some BS story about running into an old college buddy, or whatever. His shirt looks different. There's a weird vibe. Do you believe him? Why? You shouldn't.

Do you really want to live like that for the rest of your life? I hope not.

Please don't get pregnant. Please protect yourself from STDs, though why on earth you would want to have sex with this person right now is beyond me.

My heart goes out to you. You deserve so much better. I personally think you sould run in the other direction as fast as you possibly can. Go find yourself a nice man who is honest and who wants and treasures you. He is out there. Go get him.

[~Christina]

Which is worse the lies or the chance to catch something penicillin won’t cure? He has zero respect for you if he’s cheating.

Cheating is a choice I don’t care what anyone says. He’s making HIS choice ,so what’s yours?

[Crazy Hitch]

No. Just no. I would never date, marry, or affiliate myself with a cheater. I don’t care what the “label” is (sex addict). It’s just not even debatable.

[Expedius]

leaving because of the betrayal and subsequent manipulation to hide his betrayals.

You were aware before you married him of what he is. And post marriage, he continued with the same thing.

Doubt he will 'change.' He will only become better at lying and hiding his antics.

My heart goes out to you. You deserve so much better. I personally think you sould run in the other direction as fast as you possibly can. Go find yourself a nice man who is honest and who wants and treasures you. He is out there. Go get him.

Agree with bpcyclist.

You deserve better.

[sarahsweets]

The only change you can make is with yourself. If you want to suffer then stay. If you want to be free to meet a good man leave him.