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LiteraryLark
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Default Nov 14, 2019 at 04:00 PM
  #1
I'm not one to take things slow for anything, but I think for my Prince romance is definitely something that cannot be rushed. I've already decided no sex until I'm in a committed relationship, and it's taken me five years of celibacy to understand why. But to confess love and spark a romance? I'm very direct with my feelings. I know that when sparks fly like fireworks (in past dating), the feelings are very strong but they also fade very fast. With my Prince, I have strong feelings for him, but at the same time it's not the same fireworks I've experience in the past that fade away when I see their "true colors". I feel like the more I get to know him as a friend, the more I grow to love him as a person and the feelings are solid, like a foundation.

But how do I "take things slow"? What does that even mean? How do I grow more and more in love by putting friendship first while still sending signals that I do love him?
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TishaBuv
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Default Nov 14, 2019 at 07:20 PM
  #2
Let there be a give and take on who initiates getting together socially. Let the time you spend together increase gradually. Show him you are interested in him by being happy to be with him, listening to him, getting to know each other, getting comfortable together.

I’m a believer of showing your best qualities and exposing your ‘flaws’, ‘baggage’, negative information more gradually once you get close. People can get scared off easily. Also, you are giddy over him right now, but as you get to really know him, you’ll see his flaws, too. This is good before you jump in too deep.

He may want to initiate sex soon. Is there still some unspoken dating rule concerning sex on the third date? I like that you want to wait for at least an exclusive relationship. So, in taking it slow, you won’t initiate sex with him right away, and if he does with you, you’ll tell him you don’t want to rush it and are looking for an exclusive, loving relationship.

If that scares him off, so be it.

But try not to scare him with talk of getting serious and exclusive too quickly. If he is letting a friendship bloom, you do the same and let that happen.

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divine1966
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Default Nov 14, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #3
I’d say you could wait now for him to initiate next outing. You asked him for dinner and he responded positively. You had a good time. Now wait for him to ask you out to dinner (or lunch or breakfast or walk in the park), either at his house or out.

For me taking it slow means giving it time to develop naturally and see if there is reciprocation. Going too fast would be for you calling him and asking him out but him not reciprocating.

Also I’d say going too fast would be professing your love before you even date or are a couple.

There are no rules about sex on a third date, I don’t recall anyone insisting on sex on a third date. But I’ve met men who wanted sex too soon. Usually because that’s all they wanted. Doesn’t mean you have to give it. And yes there are women who push for it too soon too. A person who really values you and is serious about you will wait for it.
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