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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#1
Has anyone had the awkward experience of being friends with two people that disliked each other? I know there has been plenty of cases where there was a good reason for it, usually because one of the two friends really wasn't very nice or a toxic friend. But there has been a couple cases where I honestly believe they are both good friends, they just dislike each other due to very similar personalities, both positive and negative. Although most cases involved them both hating each other's negative traits since they were identical. And in some cases, even hated the positives in the other, stating it was a forced act.
In some cases this can create a wonderful long lasting friendship, other times it can create disdain towards one another. When it's two of them having a disliking towards one another, I believe it's because they have a lot of negative traits that are practically the same between the two and they hate seeing their own negative traits in the other person. Like I knew two friends that disliked each other because they hated being wrong and didn't like taking responsibility for their own actions. I know one friend that still talks about the other person they used to be friends with and vise versa. They both liked being in the center of attention to an extent and hated each other for it. Also I've seen it where both friends may have been a bit flaky so they would complain about each other's flakiness. Both of them were right about each other. If you encountered this scenario, did you put distance between yourselves and quietly pick sides or stay neutral? Did you ever try saying anything to both of them, trying to say that the things they are complaining about are the exact same things they do themselves? Another thing I've seen is two people stating that they are clingy. And the truth was, they were both clingy, had boundary issues. So technically, they were right about each other and this caused friction between them. If it is due to them being arrogant and not wanting to be wrong or persistently flaky, I usually distance myself from both of them. But if it is something that is minor and they are just hating each other for it, I will secretly stay neutral since they are both right about each other. In any cases like this, has one or both of them secretly try to get you to stop hanging out with the other? For me, I don't pick sides unless there's a very good reason to do so. Just wondered what you guys thought. |
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Fuzzybear
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#2
Interesting topic.I would like to share an incident. Recently I had a chance to attend a get together one of my best friend hosted.Even if I am an introvert,such an instance gives me an opportunity to meet people like me.The host introduced me to a person,and was explaining how we are similar in our positive qualitied.l never met this person before ,but she was also a close friend of the host just like me and the host previously had mentioned me to her in their conversations.During that first time face to face introduction,I smiled ,shook her hands and was curious to know more.But the other persons body language and expressions told me she disliked me.Unknown to this the host continued to explain how we two were similar with much enthusiasm. I can see the other person was very uncomfortable and wanted to getaway from the conversation.I was happy to meet a person like me.But I don't think we'll ever meet a second time.Until I read your post I was thinking about this strange interaction and how negative her facial expressions were towards me,instead of my pleasantness.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#3
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Grand Member
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#4
I think you are right.That person thought ( May be) those positive traits are unique to her.So an instant dislike developed.I truly appreciate a personality similar to me.But others may take it as a competition and like you said ,so threatened by the same qualities in others,because their uniqueness is gone.Strange but true.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
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#5
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Mendingmysoul
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#6
Similar personalities are dissimilar in certain ways.
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rdgrad15
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#7
Yes I have seen this a few times, in my experience it tends to be most pronounced in 'dominant' personalities. They can really clash.
It can be difficult if it's two people you really like/care about. I think most of us just want harmony and accord between our friends. |
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Fuzzybear, rdgrad15
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Magnate
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Location: Pennsylvania
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#8
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
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#9
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Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
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Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
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#10
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
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#11
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#12
I am very confused. What does it mean “they are both good friends, they just dislike each other”.
How and why people are friends if they dislike each other? I sure am never friends with people I dislike. You even said “hate each other”. How does it even work? Are you referring to simply acquittances? |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
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#13
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Grand Member
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#14
Yep,it is a good idea not to interact with both of them at the same time.You do not want to get caught up in crossfire.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
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#15
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Mendingmysoul
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#16
Sometimes it can be unavoidable being around them both at the same time though. This can happen with families and workplaces.
I have this issue where I volunteer. I am frequently caught in the crossfire. It's deeply uncomfortable, I cope with it by not taking sides and not engaging in discussions with one about the other. |
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#17
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Discombobulated
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