[karissa0]

I just had a really toxic and upsetting as well as confusing situation with a guy. I know I have major self esteem issues and this did not help.

Long story short, I recently met a guy that seemed... off. He started love bombing me immediately and we kind of clicked the first first time we met . We were hanging out with another one of his friends who I actually knew. I ended up deciding to do coke with them and then to stay at this guy's house.

He told me he loved me and had never met anyone like me, etc. Basically I knew it was all manipulation looking back and I felt uncomfortable. I left the next morning and later that day we still talked but the day after we hung out again and smoked pot but that's when stuff started to get even weirder. I told him I had to leave and his whole attitude changed and he became really rude. After that he would barely send messages and told me he didn't think this was gonna work out. I just blocked him because he told me he didn't know how he was feeling about me. Idk what to make of this situation or his actions at all.

I knew in the beginning a guy like this was not good for me and I did feel uncomfortable but I guess I also liked the attention.. Why is this affecting me and why did he do this? If he just wanted to have sex then why not make that clear? He seems clearly unstable so is that all this is??

Please help. I tend to over analyze people and situations but I want to just put this toxicity to rest. Especially since it didn't last long and all happened so quickly.

[winter4me]

I think you know you made some decisions that put you in a vulnerable position and understand that poor self esteem can result in doing things that are harmful to ourselves. If you don't take a long view and work on healthy coping behaviors to manage your feelings when they take over this kind of interaction will repeat. (((((((((((((love yourself))))))))))))

Maybe avoid doing cocaine and smoking pot, in general. Not a good thing to do. Seems like you need to find a new group to hang out with -- who are drug-free. I recommend going to NA meetings. You'll meet others in recovery who can connect you with a sponsor and introduce you to a community of people who are in recovery, who are sober, who are rebuilding their lives. My cousin is in NA for drug addiction, going on ten years now. She's got a really high paid job and friends all over the globe. You really can't change anyone but yourself. You can choose to stop hanging out with people who do drugs. Start small like that.

[Open Eyes]

People high on cocaine can get very affectionate like what you described. Then you did pot with him which gives a very different kind of high. When you meet someone NEW and engage in doing drugs like that you certainly are NOT getting to know the real person but instead just someone who is high on something.

It's not healthy to form relationships with others who do drugs either. They are often doing the drugs to escape their problems and can be very dysfunctional troubled individuals.

[divine1966]

If he says all these things while drugged up on cocaine and pot, you can’t really know what he means. And if you are high yourself, you could do or say things that you later regret. Plus your sense of what’s real might be off

I don’t think he is necessarily love bombing, more like he is on drugs and his perception of reality is skewed.

[bpcyclist]

^^^^ There is no way to know whether you even have any idea who this guy really is because of the drug factor. Take if from a longtime expert on cocaine. It seriously messes with your head. People seem to still think that, as long as you're not shooting it or doing crack, cocaine is a harmless little white powder. Well,, it isn't. And especially for someone with self-esteem issues, it can be just brutal. Please don't use cocaine again. If you are looking for a thrill, get a good helmet and learn how to ride fast on your bike. Ever gone 60 KPH on a good bicycle? That will get your attention! You're in Canada, go skiing or boarding. Run a wild river. Run or walk a marathon. Save money and travel to the scariest rollercoaster on earth and ride it again and again. Train for and do a triathlon--there are some good ones in your country.

There are lots of ways to get thrills. Drugs are a very destructive one. Sex can be, too, IMO.

All of which is to say, I have no idea where this guy's sober head would be because you also weren't sober. That would be a great place to start, karissa. Sending you support. You are a good person. You have great value. Don't let other people walk all over you.

[karissa0]

Thank you do much. I never want to do cocaine again as it was not a good experience and the comedown was awful. I want to be healthy and happy.
I seriously will take all of this into immense consideration.
Thanks again.

[bpcyclist]

Yeah!!!!

[Open Eyes]

Yes, when it comes to cocaine, while the high is great, the crash is horrible. I tried it many years ago and did not like it because of the crash it had. I had a lot of peir pressure to trying it, it was a huge problem way back then.

Honestly, best advice I can give is to stay away from drugs and other people who party and do drugs.

[divine1966]

Good job making good choice!!!!

[~Christina]

I’ll just throw this out there you should get tested for STD’s he might hook up a lot. Hope you use a condom

Maybe seeing a Therapist would benefit you? We all need help sometimes to figure out how to make changes.

You deserve so so so much better

[karissa0]

Yes, I am planning to get tested in a couple weeks since I've heard many STI's aren't able to be detected until after that time frame.
I do want to get back into therapy as I know it's helped me in the past.
Thank you <3