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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:07 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by partyofone View Post
Those are excellent suggestions. It reminded me of a recent situation when I was considering breaking up from my boyfriend because I was giving so much to and getting so little from the relationship.

When I decided to do this, I had my one and only panic attack ever. My T said it was attachment panic. I'd not heard the term, but it made perfect sense.

Lots of suggestions in these forums helped me cope, including all the ones you mentioned.

Anyway . . . I revisited that original decision and decided (again) it was the right one.

Very soon will move out of the relationship and out of state, and excited and thrilled about it!
That is great advice! I am working on this myself.
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:08 PM
  #22
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How to Fix an Addicted and Codependent Relationship | Willingway
I know this refers to marriage but it has some good points regardless of what type of codependent relationship one is in.
Thank you! For the link.
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Default Apr 01, 2020 at 06:09 PM
  #23
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It takes time, and also depends on how long you were in the relationship and just what from your past is triggered by the other's behavior.

Sending you many hugs!
That true. I never thought about that!
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Default Sep 11, 2021 at 05:22 PM
  #24
I’m still struggling with codependency due to me asking too many advice and feeling abandoned after being left out of family events.
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Default Sep 12, 2021 at 07:55 AM
  #25
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I’m still struggling with codependency due to me asking too many advice and feeling abandoned after being left out of family events.
@Buffy01, I wish I had some good advice or words of wisdom to share. I don't because I believe I am codependent too, and I struggle with it immensely.

Being left out of family events would hurt, so I can imagine that would naturally trigger feelings of abandonment. I have abandonment issues too, so I can relate.

As for asking for advice too frequently? I still ask my parents for advice a lot of the time, especially when it comes to work issues. I guess I don't have that much confidence in myself, which is why I ask for guidance more than I should.

Maybe the answer is to seek the answers within yourself more? And to lean on yourself more than you do on others for the advice you seek? I am trying to do this myself, but it's a challenge due to the confidence issue. I wish I had more confidence in my own ability to problem solve, but I find it helpful to get others' perspectives.

I'm sorry that I cannot be helpful, but I wanted to offer my support, at the very least because I am in a similar boat.

Hugs to you.

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Default Sep 12, 2021 at 12:52 PM
  #26
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@Buffy01, I wish I had some good advice or words of wisdom to share. I don't because I believe I am codependent too, and I struggle with it immensely.

Being left out of family events would hurt, so I can imagine that would naturally trigger feelings of abandonment. I have abandonment issues too, so I can relate.

As for asking for advice too frequently? I still ask my parents for advice a lot of the time, especially when it comes to work issues. I guess I don't have that much confidence in myself, which is why I ask for guidance more than I should.

Maybe the answer is to seek the answers within yourself more? And to lean on yourself more than you do on others for the advice you seek? I am trying to do this myself, but it's a challenge due to the confidence issue. I wish I had more confidence in my own ability to problem solve, but I find it helpful to get others' perspectives.

I'm sorry that I cannot be helpful, but I wanted to offer my support, at the very least because I am in a similar boat.

Hugs to you.
That more than enough advice for me. I will keep that all in mind. I wish I had self confidence as well.
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Default Sep 13, 2021 at 06:20 AM
  #27
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That more than enough advice for me. I will keep that all in mind. I wish I had self confidence as well.
@Buffy01, do you have a therapist to work on your confidence with? That can definitely be worked on and improved. It takes time, but it's something that can be changed and is within our control.

I try to look at what is in my control to work on and change, and what is completely out of my hands. I have to work on my confidence every day of my life - especially my confidence level at work. I am constantly doubting myself and have imposter syndrome, whereby I feel like I am putting on a good act of knowing more than I actually do - so my confidence suffers.

It takes time and effort to work on oneself in this way, but I think it's well worth the effort in the end.

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Default Sep 13, 2021 at 04:44 PM
  #28
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@Buffy01, do you have a therapist to work on your confidence with? That can definitely be worked on and improved. It takes time, but it's something that can be changed and is within our control.

I try to look at what is in my control to work on and change, and what is completely out of my hands. I have to work on my confidence every day of my life - especially my confidence level at work. I am constantly doubting myself and have imposter syndrome, whereby I feel like I am putting on a good act of knowing more than I actually do - so my confidence suffers.

It takes time and effort to work on oneself in this way, but I think it's well worth the effort in the end.
No I did at one point but I couldn’t meet the time frame
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Default Sep 25, 2021 at 04:36 PM
  #29
Thanks for starting this post. This is an area I've thought a lot about lately in terms of my own relationship. I want to start taking steps to becoming less codependent.
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Default Sep 25, 2021 at 07:33 PM
  #30
64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

This is one of the most comprehensive lists I’ve ever seen

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Default Oct 01, 2021 at 08:50 PM
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Thanks for starting this post. This is an area I've thought a lot about lately in terms of my own relationship. I want to start taking steps to becoming less codependent.
Your welcome. I was diagnosed with codependency. I’m trying to stop fixed my relationship.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

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Default Nov 30, 2021 at 10:57 PM
  #32
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64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

This is one of the most comprehensive lists I’ve ever seen

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you so much for this information.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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