[LadyShadow]

This is already a really tough relationship to begin with, but I am hoping love will prevail.

I love this man with all my heart, and he loves me in return, more so than any other man I have been with in my entire life. Maybe the fact that he deals with addiction (as have I), that our desperation for each other makes this love so intense, but to me, he is the best thing to ever happen to me in my whole life.

I can't compete with his addiction. I can't. Tonight he is missing, probably on some drug binge, even though he is just one week out of rehab. I never wanted to be with an addict, only because I never thought I could handle the competition with an addict's habits.

How amazingly on point I was.

Somehow, I feel breaking up with someone because of their addiction is hypocritical, especially with my past, my bipolar, my hospitalization record numbers, and my overall madness - mainly when he deals with some of the same afflictions.

I love him, and I want to make this work - but I can't force him to stop using, especially since he's tried to quit for many years before me. He has a lot of delusions on top of this, which I handle pretty well considering. This may seem to as an insensitive statement, but his crazy knows my crazy REALLY well. In a world where dating as a bipolar woman is extra tedious and excruciating, I found a partner that loves me for me and all of me.

I wonder if love is enough to save us.

I wish I knew where he was and if he's alright.

[Crazy Hitch]

Kudos to you for maintaining this relationship. I can't even imagine. I've often said before I could never date someone who also has bipolar as we'd be a bad clash. How do you find his moods affect you? If I'm around someone who's full of life, it does help lift my mood. But when my partner's mood is a bit on the lower side it can rub off and be a bit of a downer on me too.

[Raindropvampire]

I wish I had an answer or some grand insight but I don't. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and I hope you find a way through this.

[bpcyclist]

So sorry you are dealing with this. It is very difficult, obviously.

Addicts quit when they are done and not a minute before. They don't quit for you or anyone else.

Relapse right out of treatment is a common story. I did it. Lots of people do it. It akes awhile to really get recovery. It takes practice, in my opinion. Repetition. If you want to hang around for him to figure out that he is done, that is just a choice you need to make with eyes open. Not sure what his drug is, but he of course could die. Addiction untreated is not uncommonly a fatal illness, as you know.

You also have to think about how best to care for your own illness. Is the stress of waiting up for him to come home hammered again good for your bipolar? Likely not.

There is no right or wrong way to do this. If he keeps using, eventually, you will leave because everyone has a limit. Everyone. The question is--what is yours?

Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work long-term in our current universe. That has been my experience with multiple women over multiple years. Just my take and YMMV. Sending you support and hugs.

[Have Hope]

@LadyShadow, I understand how you feel and I can relate, to an extent. Just know what's in store for you ahead with this relationship. It's going to be a long and difficult road to full recovery, IF he ever gets there. You can't be his savior -- he has to do this for himself on his own. It's not your job to fix his problems. And like it's stated above, he will quit when good and ready, when he's sick of being an addict or perhaps after he's hit rock bottom. I've read it takes hitting rock bottom to really start on the road to recovery. Are you willing to go through this roller coaster ride with him? This is what you're facing. And no, sometimes I don't think that love is enough. There's many other factors at play to make a relationship work and be compatible long-term.

It's not hypocritical if you have to break up with him over his addiction. You have your share of issues and maybe they intersect with his, but this is about your own health and well-being as well. You can't bring yourself down in order to be with someone. It's just not healthy.

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, @LadyShadow, dear friend. I agree with what everyone else has said here, please don't lose hope.

Love will give you enough heart to keep doing your best which you always do.